Resenting work?
One common theme in my head is the feeling that having to work is making me miss out on life, because life is so short that I just want to enjoy things with my family and friends. I wake up most Mondays with an overwhelming sense of dread for the day and week to come. It's not that I don't have a decent job, I do and I feel like my manager respects me, and is always looking out for me. I just can't shake the inner thoughts telling me that I'm wasting my life, and I'm going to d** unhappy. Since my mom passed away 3 months ago these feelings have only gotten worse. My mom and dad both died fairly young, dad was 64 in 2006 and mom 67 three months ago. Due to that I've got this feeling I cannot shake that I am going to d** before I can retire, and my life will have been wasted.
Deep inside I know these thoughts are irrational, but I just can't shake them.
Thanks for reading.
@VintageDougers
Hello, You are not alone in those thoughts and they often become more intense when people have a death or even serious health scare..... There is no easy answer as most need an income to be able to do things like travel etc. The Monday dread and minor things seem so unimportant ..
I have incorporated a sort of mini bucket list type thing and do what i can in small doses maybe a three day small weekend trip or even challenges to try new things/ food/ experiences .....
the idea of some to wait to retirement is not feasible as by then items you wanted to do may no longer be available or reasonable in cost etc... people you wanted to share experiences with may no longer be in the picture... a work schedule can be worked around to infuse a bit more life in time off or even in off hours .... i use to wonder how some did this as i thought i would be exhausted or something but once i started just small things it was an energy i did not have before.
@toughTiger6481
Thank you so much for commiserating and for your words of encouragement, it means a lot to me. My logical mind knows that I need to work to survive and do the things I enjoy. My depressed mind doesn't want to hear any of that.
I try talking to my wife about these thoughts, but her response is always the same. "You just need to get past this" or "Lots of people don't like working, but we need to do it" and as much as I love her these responses just don't help me. I know I need to work to pay bills and do things I enjoy. But my brain doesn't care, it just keeps repeating that I'm wasting my life doing this and that I'm missing out on life by having to spend the majority of my time doing these tasks that I simply don't want to do. And I'm tired of just "getting past this" and not addressing the underlying issue. Problem is I don't know what that underlying issue is or how to begin addressing it.
This all just feels so lonely, isolating and depressing.
@VintageDougers
I agree I hate being dismissed by someone saying items like "that is why it is called work" no one like it etc.
getting past it is not IMO a good phrase either. i have been in the shoes tried changing jobs only in a short time to feel the same way. took time off between jobs and yet dod not do great adventures like i thought if i had the time.
Hard to say what underlying issue may trigger it but in the end finding small wins until you find the your underlying reason.
@VintageDougers Hello,
Thank you veryy much for your suggestions and words of encouragement. I have talked to therapists, psychiatrists and psychologists in the past about many things and have never really felt like they've helped. I should maybe consider trying again though.
@VintageDougers
Why ignore your thoughts and feelings? They are very legitimate
I see no mention of fulfillment in your post
Having a "decent job" is not an automatic route to happiness and living a fulfilling life. Perhaps you need to change your life
I've been thinking about your comments all morning today... honestly haven't been able to think about much else. While I am trying to appreciate all feedback, I'm really having trouble getting past your specific comment "Maybe you are wasting your life".That type of comment to me just seems very counterproductive and isn't something I feel you should say to someone seeking help and guidance for an issue they are experiencing.
Thank you for taking the time to read my post and respond. I just hope you're a little more compassionate when acting as a listener for others.
