Persistent and Unavoidable Sadness

I think one of the reasons I don’t like feeling sad and get uncomfortable when other people are sad is because I have an innate desire for connection. I love connecting with people and feel safe when I am emotionally and physically close to people. I derive a deep sense of fulfillment from sharing love and joyful memories. I understand and have experience connecting with people when I am happy, anxious, scared, frustrated, calm, etc… but I do not know how to interact and seek connection with people when I am sad. Instead, I feel a deep sense of uncomfortability, grief, and guilt when I am sad or crying in front of other people. Similarly, when other people express their sadness to me I feel uncomfortable because I am not sure how they would like me to respond or connect with them, and because I am not as in touch with the part of myself that feels sadness. I do not think sadness is an inherently uncomfortable or negative emotion, but with any feeling, even ones of happiness or excitement, bottling it up until it becomes incredibly intense fosters a sense of discomfort linked to that emotion. I’m not sure where my aversion to publicly expressing my sadness came from, maybe from my genetic makeup or societal views or family dynamics, but I feel a sense of regret that I do not know ways to connect with other people around this emotion. I do not mind feeling sad or crying when I am alone, but those opportunities are rare and I miss out on a world of closeness and connectivity with other people by only sharing my sadness with myself. I have years of unexpressed sadness bottled up inside me as a result of my avoidant tendency that manifests into frustration and anger when I am around other people. If anyone feels similarly and would like to share their experience or ways they changed this behavioral pattern please let me know.