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redTree7626
8 160 M Embraced 1
PathStep 1 Compassion hearts22 Forum posts11 Forum upvotes13 Current upvotes13 Age GroupAdult Last activeFebruary, 2025 Member sinceJanuary 19, 2025
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Book Reccomendation
Reading & Writing / by redTree7626
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I have dealt with loneliness and persistent sadness for many years and recently I read After by Bruce Greyson and it completely changed my perspective. It is about NDE's (Near Death Experiences), but it discusses spirituality and offers "proof" or at least evidence that we are all connected. Really helped me to see that we are all connected to each other and to nature through energy and reinforced my spirituality. I would recommend it to anyone feeling disconnected or lonely, it may open your eyes up to how connected we actually are. 
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Discomfort Feeling Sad
General Support / by redTree7626
Last post
 1 day ago
...See more An integral part of why I don’t like feeling sad and get uncomfortable when other people are sad is because I have an innate desire for connection. I love connecting with people and feel safe when I am emotionally and physically close to people. I derive a deep sense of fulfillment from sharing love and joyful memories. I understand and have experience connecting with people when I am happy, anxious, scared, frustrated, calm, etc… but I do not know how to interact and seek connection with people when I am sad. Instead, I feel a deep sense of uncomfortability, grief, and guilt when I am sad or crying in front of other people. Similarly, when other people express their sadness to me I feel uncomfortable because I am not sure how they would like me to respond or connect with them, and because I am not as in touch with the part of myself that feels sadness. I do not think sadness is an inherently uncomfortable or negative emotion, but with any feeling, even ones of happiness or excitement, bottling it up until it becomes incredibly intense fosters a sense of discomfort linked to that emotion. I’m not sure where my aversion to publicly expressing my sadness came from, maybe from my genetic makeup or societal views or family dynamics, but I feel a sense of regret that I do not know ways to connect with other people around this emotion. I do not mind feeling sad or crying when I am alone, but those opportunities are rare and I miss out on a world of closeness and connectivity with other people by only sharing my sadness with myself. I have years of unexpressed sadness bottled up inside me as a result of my avoidant tendency that manifests into frustration and anger when I am around other people. If anyone feels similarly and would like to share their experience or ways they changed this behavioral pattern please let me know.
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Long-Term Sadness
Grief & Loss / by redTree7626
Last post
 Monday
...See more After much reflection, I believe that one of the reasons I don’t like feeling sad and get uncomfortable when other people are sad is because I have an innate desire for connection. I love connecting with people and feel safe when I am emotionally and physically close to people. I derive a deep sense of fulfillment from sharing love and joyful memories. I understand and have experience connecting with people when I am happy, anxious, scared, frustrated, calm, etc… but I do not know how to interact and seek connection with people when I am sad. Instead, I feel a deep sense of uncomfortability, grief, and guilt when I am sad or crying in front of other people. Similarly, when other people express their sadness to me I feel uncomfortable because I am not sure how they would like me to respond or connect with them, and because I am not as in touch with the part of myself that feels sadness. I do not think sadness is an inherently uncomfortable or negative emotion, but with any feeling, even ones of happiness or excitement, bottling it up until it becomes incredibly intense fosters a sense of discomfort linked to that emotion. I’m not sure where my aversion to publicly expressing my sadness came from, maybe from my genetic makeup or societal views or family dynamics, but I feel a sense of regret that I do not know ways to connect with other people around this emotion. I do not mind feeling sad or crying when I am alone, but those opportunities are rare and I miss out on a world of closeness and connectivity with other people by only sharing my sadness with myself. I have years of unexpressed sadness bottled up inside me as a result of my avoidant tendency that manifests into frustration and anger when I am around other people. If anyone feels similarly and would like to share their experience or ways they changed this behavioral pattern please let me know.
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Persistent and Unavoidable Sadness
Depression Support / by redTree7626
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I think one of the reasons I don’t like feeling sad and get uncomfortable when other people are sad is because I have an innate desire for connection. I love connecting with people and feel safe when I am emotionally and physically close to people. I derive a deep sense of fulfillment from sharing love and joyful memories. I understand and have experience connecting with people when I am happy, anxious, scared, frustrated, calm, etc… but I do not know how to interact and seek connection with people when I am sad. Instead, I feel a deep sense of uncomfortability, grief, and guilt when I am sad or crying in front of other people. Similarly, when other people express their sadness to me I feel uncomfortable because I am not sure how they would like me to respond or connect with them, and because I am not as in touch with the part of myself that feels sadness. I do not think sadness is an inherently uncomfortable or negative emotion, but with any feeling, even ones of happiness or excitement, bottling it up until it becomes incredibly intense fosters a sense of discomfort linked to that emotion. I’m not sure where my aversion to publicly expressing my sadness came from, maybe from my genetic makeup or societal views or family dynamics, but I feel a sense of regret that I do not know ways to connect with other people around this emotion. I do not mind feeling sad or crying when I am alone, but those opportunities are rare and I miss out on a world of closeness and connectivity with other people by only sharing my sadness with myself. I have years of unexpressed sadness bottled up inside me as a result of my avoidant tendency that manifests into frustration and anger when I am around other people. If anyone feels similarly and would like to share their experience or ways they changed this behavioral pattern please let me know.
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Strained Relationship with Parents
Relationship Stress / by redTree7626
Last post
 January 20th
...See more For the past several years my mother and I have had a strained relationship, and I would love to fix it, but I don't know how. When I was younger I used to be very close to my mother, and we would talk for hours at a time about my life. However, I have always felt uncomfortable with how involved she is in my life. She used to invite people over from school without my permission who I was in a fight with so that we could work it out. In middle school she invited half of my class over for a pool party without my permission, which incited many awkward conversations between me and classmates who wanted to know why they hadn't been invited to the party. In seventh grade, she became one of my class parents and became involved in resolving many of the big class conflicts. I used to have constant anxiety at home which affected my sleep, so in high school I went to boarding school and I only had that persistent anxiety when I went home on the weekends. I believe the thing that ultimately led to our strained relationship was (and is) my habit of suppressing emotions. I have a lot of pent up sadness around my relationship with my mom, which manifests itself into anger and frustration. I never confronted my mom about the sadness I feel around some of her actions, because it is incredibly uncomfortable for me to give up control of my emotions and show vulnerability. It has become so extreme that even sharing small details about my day to my mom makes me extremely uncomfortable. I know my mom wants a closer relationship, and feels disappointed that I push her away, but until I find a way to work through my sadness I don't think I can offer her a closer relationship. If anyone has suggestions for how to release my sadness or about my situation I would be incredibly grateful. I currently am talking to a therapist, and have been for the past year. I am sure my mom would be happy and open to talk with me about how I am feeling, and I would love to be able to as well, but I am currently not comfortable doing so. I run everyday and have tried meditating and just crying, but I think I need to be doing something else as well, because none of those things feel like they are making a difference. Please, if anything else has worked for anybody please them me know. 
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