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Online Dating

egret35 July 3rd, 2023
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I have recently tried dating again. I told myself I wouldn't do it online again, but here I am. It was going well at first. This morning I sent someone a message with a friendly introduction and a joke. The person blocked me immediately. It has made me sad and hurt my self-esteem. I guess if someone does that, it is not the kind of person I want to date anyway. It still hurts though. I am bi-polar and sensitive. I am afraid this might bring me down for a while. Thank you for letting me share.

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JJDuctu July 3rd, 2023
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@egret35 Hi there!, I´m very sorry to hear about you being down.

About dating and finding a proper person for your life I consider it a risk activity, doesn´t matter if is online or analogic. The process of meet new people is stressfull because you have to be ready to be rejected, sometimes without explanation, or with the stress of being "kind" all the time to help the meeting phase develops properly.

Online dating can be complex to start a conversation due to the big incoming messages people receive, and the very little window you have to make the other person answer you back, depending mostly on some seconds review of your picture and the originality of your message. You can be the worst person in the world and have success in those apps if you manage good those scenarios, and opposite, so please try to give the online refusals less seriously due that the other person is sieged by messages, and the little information you can give in a message has nothing related with your real value as a person.

Love is one of the most beautiful feelings a human being can feel, but sometimes our pressure to find it make us so unhappy that it may be not worthy to keep that pressure.

When you get stronger keep looking if is what you desire, and try to see it more like a game, than a "survival need", because anything that involves other person, all what happens is not 100% in our hands to control, and neither have fast results as we desire.

Wish you the best and give you strength to keep going.

egret35 OP July 3rd, 2023
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Thank you for your kind words and good intentions. I never feel pressure to be kind. I would think that would just come naturally, but I guess not everyone is the same. I don't like to treat dating or courtship as I prefer, as a game. Even though it is on a screen, I know that there are real people, with real emotions on the other end. I try to be courteous and gentle to those who I do not find to be compatible. I have never been flooded with messages. Perhaps that says something about me. That is what I mean about the apps hurting my self-esteem. I know that I am good enough and that I am worthy of love. When someone callously and silently says otherwise, it hurts. It hurts a lot. But as you say, you can not control others. I know that if I am patient and persistent I will find the right person for me. Sometimes it can be very painful though.

Although I don't agree with you, I thank you for taking the time to support me and share your insights.

MeaningfulSilence July 3rd, 2023
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@egret35

Hello there egret35!

Sorry for the negative sensation the person gave you by blocking your text.... it's surely something you didn't expect and for that reason it could impact more on you.

A rejection is never nice, double frustrating if we don't fully understand what we have done to cause it .

Please don't forget your self care and take in count your emotions, good to come on here to share and to feel we welcome you 🤗

Wishing you to find the right person for you, very soon 💙

egret35 OP July 3rd, 2023
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Thank you! 😊

MeaningfulSilence July 3rd, 2023
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@egret35

You are welcome!

Keep on going agret35 💪

bestVase7265 July 4th, 2023
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You are right in thinking that this wasn't a person that you wanted to get to know. And you were brave in doing the online dating to begin with. You can do this and keep looking to find someone. I know that it hurts, but take a deep breath and try again. @egret35

egret35 OP July 4th, 2023
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Thank you!!! That is just what I needed to hear. 😁

bestVase7265 July 5th, 2023
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Let us know how it goes. We will be cheering you on. @egret35