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Not okay

User Profile: creativeBeechwood6655

My grades for this semester just came up and I failed a subject. This was supposed to be my last semester and know I will not graduate this semester. I feel not okay at all, I scaficed alot of things to graduate this term like not getting out of home to study (i gained 22 pounds ). Not doing any art or hopes , letterly not doing any thing to study and graduate and it didn't happen.


I'm not feeling okay. Alot of my colleagues already get a job and I didn't even graduate cause I'm a semester behind. I'm tired of people telling me it's okay, it's not


I hate my self for not being not good enough. And I don't know how to tell my family that I still didn't graduate.


I don't want to deal with college stress any more. And I will stay a hole semester for a subject.

1
User Profile: determinedSea4370
determinedSea4370 1 day ago

@creativeBeechwood6655 If it makes you feel any better, you're not alone in what you are experiencing. My best friend struggled and worked really hard but still failed the subject she needed to pass and then didn't graduate. She had already been in college longer than most people had and she watched as everybody she knew graduated years before she did. What she did next- and what you should NOT do- is keep the fact that she hadn't graduated from her family for half a year. It's better to tell them sooner rather than later, because I witnessed what holding that secret did to my best friend- the stress and guilt almost completely destroyed her. It's not worth it keeping that kind of thing secret. 

And you know what, not graduating even though you sacrificed so much- of course that's not okay for you. It's annoying when other people keep telling you it's okay and ignore the gravity you feel in the situation just because THEY don't want to have to sit there and actually talk about the very real turmoil you are currently going through.  
You're disappointed because you didn't live up to your expectations. That's natural- you want better for yourself, you want to be better. The hard part is to then use that anger you have at yourself and funnel it towards something productive rather than something self destructive. 
The reality is that you only have 1 more semester. 1 class in 1 semester- maybe this is a blessing in disguise, because you can concentrate your energy on that class AND start living a life beyond the college experience. You'll have time to get back into healthy physical habits. ***, you can take up an art class with that free time. You can join up with a club that meets at the gym. 
Take your anger and reframe it- why is this society so driven by academic success? What even is the point of academic success in the modern college environment when it just all seems to be about checking dumb boxes to get a dumb piece of paper so you can be 'worthy' of getting more than a minimum wage job (maybe) after spending a ridiculous amount of money. You might be angry at yourself for getting so close to graduating and then failing, but take a step back and also consider how ridiculous the educational system is right now and maybe that'll help you recognize that academics aren't the most important things in life. 
And this is a LIFE you live- you're not just here to study and suffer. 
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