Nightmares
They are starting up again. I absolutely hate them
i hate how confused I am
I feel like I’m so *** up I don’t know what is what, am I this lovely in the world because I suck or people suck
is he abusive? Or like he’s says am I just ungrateful and miserable
all I know is it’s been so so many long years since I felt any joy, security, happiness, or really to have any sort of physical touch from anyone who isn’t my cat or now my little boy
I miss feeling pretty .
thesw days I don’t even feel visible
i cry every single day and honesty I don’t really want to dye but I hate my life so unbelievably much and I’m so stuck and the alternative of being completely alone and poor with no friends family or money seems scarier than being trapped in this miserable relationship and financially comfortable
I absolutely hate him he’s awful but he’s the closest I have to family
it’s all such a huge mess like I say I don’t really want to dye but it seems like the only available/ least exhausting option left to not have to feel like this all day every day
@Annabellab
you are not alone......... there are some of us out there and you can develop your own world i can see the attachment of if he is all you have.... and the money and scary part is something to consider
I could have written what you wrote a few years ago ...... really the same thoughts..... i made my own life he is not a part of although we still live together and such.
i have a fitness trend and met a few people on the internet friends that i chat with mine own things he has no clue of ..... being HEARD and appreciated by others was all it took for me to blossom and see things in a much better light. not saying you need to do same but fall in love with yourself and nothing seems impossible and the future looks better all the time