Neverending battle of my mind.
Good morning, or evening.
TW: Food, hopelessness.
I'm posting here, hopefully I can connect with someone or at least relate to people. I haven't had peace for years now. Constantly being around toxic negative energy at my house, through fighting or improper relations. I also have a lot of difficulty with my self image, and confidence.
I keep beating myself up over not getting myself out of this loop. I have to find a place to go, even if I'm going to struggle financially. I don't know how much longer I can keep taking this mental abuse. It's all from me either way, it's no one else's fault. I also haven't been taken care of myself really, it's hard to when the people I'm trying to avoid are constantly in the areas that have the things I need, at home.
I also struggle with trusting. I'm already opposed to talking about things now, because talking hasn't gotten me anywhere except here still.
Update: I was able to clean A lot of things yesterday. But I did stay home from work, which was half for me and half for keeping my mom happy. She's negatively taking care of herself, waiting for my step dad to come home to argue. I'm actively looking for a new place to go. Not really feeling ready for it at all.
I get it, it’s technically not even your issue and you have to be involved regardless cause it’s family and it’s where you live.
Keep your head up and stay on target with your goals.
You will get out of your toxic situation, it just takes time.