My Ex is Engaged!!! Help plz
I was with my Ex off and on for 18 yrs. When we dated for a Year we were Engaged but sadly we broke up because all we did was fight it was everyday we were at each others throats. I was 15 yrs old when I met him I was young and naïve. He was my first love.
He dated a few girls over the Years and when I said we were off and on he would date them then come back to me this went for on Years. He's done multiple things to hurt me he used me, he cheated on me, he was even intimate with a few girls. I also found out he was into drugs and alcohol this was after the time I found out I was Pregnant he thought the baby didn't belong to him that I cheated on him. After finding out through DNA test the baby did in fact belong to him he tried coming around saying he wanted to be a Family and make things work between us. We tried numerous times and it wouldn't work out. He was still into drugs and alcohol and I didn't find out until through the grape vine a few of his Friends told me.
We were dating at one time and I went on Vacation and sadly we lost contact when I came back hoping we'd pick up where we left off I found out he was Married I wasn't even gone a week and he was Married, They stayed together for a Year, had a baby together, got divorced. He started talking to me again and I wouldn't speak to him, went on for a Year before I talked to him again, We started dating again but my trust in him was at zero. Our life together was like a roller coaster ride. We couldn't make it work. So we broke up again.
It's been almost 5 yrs since we talked. He was contacting me via *** but almost 2 yrs ago that stopped. I found out he's Engaged on Dec. 14th 2022 he's been with her for almost 2 yrs My Son told me that. My Son doesn't like her. Ever since he's been with her he's been ignoring his Fatherly duties and spending more time with this Girl, This isn't the first time he's done that. He's even into drugs and alcohol again, He has a Court case coming up in February for burglary, trespassing and drugs, Him and her both was caught. She even tried to blame everything on him.
Why wasn't I good enough for him? Why didn't he stay with me? Why did he leave me? So many questions. I can't wrap my head around it. It's haunting me. Plz some advice is needed. Thanks!
A side note: I have had 2 mental breakdowns because of him and been in the hospital. I have severe depression, schizophrenia and anxiety. I do have a therapist that I see every month. I used to cut. I'm really hurt over this. I can't wrap my head around it 😒
Criminal activity, drugs, alcohol, cheating...he sounds like the ultimate bad guy. Why do you want him? That's the question you should be asking yourself.
You didn't do anything wrong. He's just a bad guy 🤷♀️ Maybe it hurts so much because you are dependent on him. That's alot of years to be together, on and off or not. You're used to him.
Try thinking of his engagement as a positive thing for you. Now he can be some other poor woman's headache.
That's just my opinion. I hope you are ok. I know it hurts when you love someone and it doesn't work out.
Take care of you ❤️
My mom also suffers from Schizophrenia, but she refuses to take her meds for it so she never gets better.
@SweetPea321 Thanks so much for your response 😊
I can imagine that it is still quite difficult to process.
But what if you started out from the position that you did nothing wrong? He was a jerk and always will be, but it can be really hard to see that at the beginning. He sounds tremendously selfish and unavailable really to other people. It would make no difference what you did.
Therapy is going to help here, but so too is time. What kinds of other things do you do to distract yourself? @SnowWolf81
@bestVase7265 I like to read, crafts, watch television, spend time with my Nephews, I go to therapy every month, as well as speaking to a Counselor I go to see her every Tuesday I also get to be around "others" who are like me, has a disability or a recovering drug addict.
You are doing so much to help yourself! That is pretty awesome.
When you have a bad moment like you are having right now in trying to find a path forward, keep doing the things that bring you little moments of joy. What kinds of crafts do you do and what kinds of programs do you like to watch?@SnowWolf81
How have things been lately?@SnowWolf81
@SnowWolf81
I am inviting you to the Sharing Circle chat room where you will meet and will receive
support from other members of 7Cups.com ! 😊