Letting Go of an Unattainable Dream: Seeking New Motivation After Years of Struggle
Today, I faced a harsh reality that has been years in the making—I’ve had to let go of the dream of dating a super beautiful woman, a dream that I’ve held onto since my younger years. It’s a struggle that might seem laughable or trivial to others, and I’m fully aware that in many circles, it could even be dismissed as shallow. But for me, this dream was tied to years of bullying, rejection, and feeling like I never had any social status anywhere I’ve been.
I’m not trying to advocate for any harmful beliefs or policies, but I want to share how deeply this has affected me. My life has been marked by misguidance, a lack of support, and years spent numbing the pain with drugs and alcohol. Now, I’m older, and after working hard in boxing and searching for a better-paying job, I’ve realized that the barriers between me and the kind of woman I desire are impenetrable.
I’ve accepted that this dream is impossible and that I need to find new motivation to continue my hard work. I have to search for someone who is more aligned with where I am in life, even if that means letting go of what I once wanted so deeply. This isn’t about blaming anyone—it’s about acknowledging my reality and figuring out how to move forward from here.
@EchoOfDreams
Letting go is hard and after a long time RE - framing may work better... the motivation i see in your post is YOU. .....Not a super beautiful woman.
Super beautiful has different meanings for many. If you wanted arm candy to show you made it ... many use flashy cars or designer labels for that........ Whom are you trying to show up?
Perhaps your drive is proving something to someone who bullied you or looked down on you..... but at what point do you see you are letting a version of a jerk live in your head.... they may not even remember how or why they bullied you. My guess is how rewarding would it be to show up with your status symbol and they do not even notice.
If you want someone in your life and a relationship my best advice is do not search for a person like a job interview........ of predetermined qualities ......... this limits you. Real love grows and when a person and you click even if they may seem ordinary by others false standards.......... they will be Super beautiful to you.... then you will have your dream.
Thank you so much for taking the time to share your thoughts with me. I completely agree with you—real love is something that grows over time and isn’t just about checking off a list of predetermined qualities. I’ve been struggling with overcoming some deep-rooted traumas from past experiences with bullying and rejection, especially from women I found beautiful. These experiences have left me searching, not necessarily for love itself, but for acceptance and understanding.
I’m beginning to realize that what I’ve been seeking all along is social acceptance and a sense of belonging—something that transcends appearances and superficial standards. I’d like to know what it feels like to be accepted and to break through the societal barriers that have held me back for so long. I’m trying to remind myself to use peace and love as my guide, and I truly believe that if I keep spreading those values, they will come back to me in some form.
Thank you again for your kind words. They’ve given me a lot to think about as I continue on this journey.