Letter
so the other day I was at my guys house an he was at work an I found his note book that he writes the list for food in an I came across something that he wrote when he was doing a recovery program. I kinda knew everything before but when I read that he didn’t love me at all an that he used me an my family for a place to stay an whatnot, I mean I had brought it up to him long ago an he always denied it an now I found this an read it it makes it all real an I’m just stuck an don’t know what to really do cause in that letter he wrote that he wanted to change his life around an he has told me before I read it that he loves me an that he knows now that I’m the best thing that has ever happen to him.
I am the only person who has stood by him when he relapsed a now him being in treatment a getting the help that he was never given before. I do feel like I don’t have strong feelings like I use too but now I don’t know what to think after reading this an I have confronted him about it and he has said that he’s trying to change cause he sees how he has hurt me an he don’t want to do that anymore but it’s hard. I don’t know anymore!!!
Remind yourself that people are at different points quite different people. It sounds like when he was low that he had trouble loving anyone. Now he is trying to find that again in himself.
I know that is very painful for you, but there is a chance that something could grow and develop now. So give it a little time. If things still don't feel right in 6 months time, talk again. But you all deserve some solid healing time. @Tinkerbell526
True but like today I told him I was coming over and he knew it was going to be a little bit after 7pm an he was ok with it until I was on my way an then he decided that now it’s too late, I feel like he had someone here with him an he didn’t want me here so he kept arguing with me to see if I would turn around an when he realized that I wasn’t he was like ok when I got here like nothing happen, he took my bag from me an then got my stuff for bed. Like I’m not understanding if he wants to be with other people instead of a relationship then why don’t he just say that!!
Those sound like excellent questions to ask him and keep asking him. But focus on your own emotional reactions - "I am confused. What did you mean here?" or "That hurt me a bit because it made me feel unwanted." Open communication is always a good thing.
You are going to figure this out. @Tinkerbell526
