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Just Numb

FluffyBakedPotato August 20th
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I've been feeling "fine" and just in auto pilot after having a major meltdown about a month ago. I don't feel stressed, anxious, depressed anymore. I just don't feel. I feel nothing. Just numb. Empty. Alone. Even my thoughts decided to leave me this time. No thoughts, no feelings. Nothing.


When I'm out and about, I put on a mask and pretend to be someone. Someone happy. Someone who got everything together. Someone who feel. But when I'm back at home, back to emptiness, numbnes, and nothingness.


Today, on a weak attempt of feeling something, I took the scissors and went straight to the mirror. *snap* I guess, I decided to cut my hair. Shorter and shorter. I kept cutting. Still nothing. Sigh.. fine! At least I tried..

1
RedWell August 21st
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@FluffyBakedPotato

What is confining you? What is one small thing you can do to make yourself taste a moment of freedom to be truly yourself today? 

When I've been completely blank like you're describing, it was because none of my choices were my own. I made one tiny move toward being free, after a while that lead to another....