I’m feeling more hopeless as the days goes
So I’ve always been depressed since forever, and had bipolar, and anxiety that’s nothing new. Recently it’s been triggered even more than before because my boyfriend broke up with me it was my first time hyperventilating and having a panic attack. We ended up back together but he told me he has lost feelings for me he doesn’t feel the same love from when we first was together. He says he still love me and even if we break up he will be there for me but he probably won’t gain those feelings back. I feel like he feels trapped but it’s my fault. I was begging him back and he knew I was suicidal. I think he’s scared if we break up I will ruin my life. I don’t want him to feel trapped. We been together for 2 years. I love him so much I can’t think of a life without eachother and I don’t want to think of a life without eachother. But I don’t want him unhappy bc soon he will just lose the rest of his feeling and there’s nothing I can do about it. I really want to be with him but Ik I should let him go. I don’t know how to deal with these suicidal thoughts. I really have no one. No one to rely on any more, talk to or anything. I feel so hopeless it’s to the point all I do is cry I don’t even wanna get outta bed. I feel like I have no future. I just want all this to stop it feels like I’m being hit everyday/week with more bad news. My life is falling apart. I don’t think I have the strength this time to make it through this time.
It sounds like you really love him, so I will try to help you the best I can from a man’s perspective, Because this might help you win him back: When a man says I’ve fallen out of love, What he really means is the woman Is no longer the same person she used to be. Try some very honest self reflection About three positive things that you used to do More often to brighten his world That you don’t do much Anymore. Did you used to be more enthusiastic? Did you used to spontaneously jump up and hug him? Did you used to show him more appreciation for being an awesome guy? Did you used to Massage his back Or sing to him or make him a nice little piece of art? And this is so hard, And I’m sorry for saying this because I know bipolar Is something so Incredibly hard to live with, But how much of your low points Is he seeing from you in a typical day and a typical week compared to when you met? If being around him brought out your best when you first met him, And now little by little he, he’s been seeing you get more depressed, A man concludes That his presence In your life makes you more depressed. He has given you his best for two years, Maybe you are just more comfortable around him so you show him truly what you’re going through, But Even to a man who loves you very much All he knows is it appears that you are becoming more depressed with him In your life than you were before. I know this is so incredibly hard, but you have to show him That happiness and that enthusiasm That you feel deep inside when you are with him and when he is in your life. That is so incredibly hard when you are fighting your own body, It’s like pushing a gigantic boulder uphill every day, But try try try to show him.
And pray too.