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persistentJar149
432 M Embraced 3
PathStep 2 Compassion hearts35 Forum posts17 Forum upvotes22 Current upvotes22 Age GroupAdult Last activeOctober, 2023 Member sinceDecember 29, 2021
Recent forum posts
Am I in the wrong?
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 October 8th, 2023
...See more Ok so I went to a different city like an hr away to where my bf live with him to run an errand. On the way there he kept being on his phone so he wasn’t driving the safest and he got mad at me and yelled at me because I was tryna tell him to drive safer. That made me mad. I was already irritated because I was hungry and haven’t ate the whole day and etc. so I didn’t speak anymore. Him:”where do you want to eat”, me:”idc “ him:”you sure” me:”what are my options” Him,” it’s too late now you already said you didn’t care” then I went silent again. I asked him that morning can he take me in a date we can go somewhere cheap like chilis and he said sure. So I dressed up. He took me to hooters. Then said we got like 40 min before we had to go finish his errands. I couldn’t believe he would take me to hooters as a “date” and I didn’t want to eat there. I didn’t even see nothing on the menu I wanted so he orderes his food and I said I don’t want anything and he got mad saying I wasted his time and money and started to cause a scene. He called me ungrateful and more and said he wasn’t doin nun else for me again. He stormed out after paying and boxing his food and went to the car and locked me out. I called my mom because I was just gonna Uber food and he said I called my mom on him I’m a grown women but calling my mom on him and got madder. He kept threatening to leave me at hooters and then an empty mall in the dark by myself In a different city. I wasn’t even driving right. The way he treated me in that moment showed me a lot about him and really hurt me. He said the next morning he wasn’t “trying” to get me out the car because if he wanted me out I woulda been out that car. I broke up with him and he acting like he did no wrong. We been together for almost a year. Am I in the wrong?
Why won’t he just apologize?
Relationship Stress / by persistentJar149
Last post
 August 27th, 2023
...See more My boyfriend went to smack my butt but my reflexes made my hand go back there to block the hit and he hit me really hard. He hit me so hard that my finger is sprained and it hurts to bend. All he did was laugh and say it was my fault because he always does it it. But I keep telling him not to smack me hard but he continues to do it. He got mad at me because I was mad at him and wouldn’t talk to him( because he really persistant on it’s my fault and didn’t apologize) and he invalidated me and instead of asking if I was ok he continued to blame it on me. we haven’t talked the rest of the night or the rest of today.
I’m pathetic
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 June 8th, 2023
...See more I hate myself and everyone hates me too. I have no use in this world. I have no purpose. I have nothing going for myself. I’m fat, I’m ugly, I barely have hair, I’m broke, I’m dumb, I’m always sick, I’m antisocial, I’m boring, I’m nothing. I Can’t keep a friend, can’t keep a relationship. My life is karma. Karma for living. After saying it all I’m actually relieved. I want to hide the truth so bad and act so desperate at pathetic when instead I should just face the harsh reality. I used to think I could make a difference in the world but now i feel so stupid. I don’t know why I thought I could actually be loved and be happy. I have no one. I can’t talk to family they’ll just say what do I have to be depressed about and etc. I have nobody to talk to and nobody would want to listen to me anyway.
Living is becoming harder
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 December 24th, 2022
...See more I feel as the days go bye the more I lose myself. I feel hurt, sad, useless, unwelcomed and unnecessary. My depression and anxiety is getting worse and worse every minute by everyday. I can’t control my feelings and I’m crying everyday. Im starting to shut out people close to me again and become more antisocial. Im not taking care of myself like I need to and I’m losing the will to live. I have nobody to talk to. My mental health is worsening my physical health. I sit in my room and wonder would ending it all be the best solution. I really just want to be alive. I’m losing interest in things I loved to do. When I try to talk about my problems I hear “ what do u have to be depressed about”, “u have no reason to be depressed” or I can tell they take pity on me or try to downplay my feelings.
Feeling Hurt and depressed
Depression Support / by persistentJar149
Last post
 January 22nd, 2022
...See more I feel like I want to d**. My heart hurts and my chest feels heavy. Im trying to think what’s wrong with my and make myself stop but I keep crying. I feel so stressed and alone. There’s nobody here for me or who I can really talk to. I feel useless that I can’t make real friends, make money, find love or do anything right in life. I was fine until I just all of a sudden just broke down.I want to leave and run away far away where no one’s no me and start my life over again and live the way I want to but it appears I will never be able to live a happy life because there’s always someone there to ruin my life. I feel unwelcome and secretly hated on by ppl and I just don’t know what to do because Everytime I think I think of harming my muse mentally and physically. i want help but I have no one close or someone I trust to talk to so I’m basically on my own and I don’t know what to do to help myself.
No beds Hospitals/ feeling depressed
Family & Caregivers / by persistentJar149
Last post
 January 10th, 2022
...See more My grandmother has bleeding inside her stomach but they don’t know where, a failed kidney, a mf needs a blood transfusion. Tried going to hospitals but they all don’t have any beds open so we drove almost 2 hrs to a different hospital who could give her all she needs but all there beds are full and we was waiting for about 5 hours in the cold lobby. She had about 5 more people in front of her so they said she problems won’t get a room till tm. We went ahead and left because she was uncomfortable and it is about to sleet and snow and we don’t wanna be trapped. I wish I had my license or majored in nursing or to become a doctor instead of being useless like the rest of my family. It really pains me to see her sick but I have no ideal what to do when there’s no hospital open for her. I feel like I’m getting more and more depressed everyday. I don’t know what to do. *Edited for content by @peaceloveandpaws
Am I at fault? Why cant i be happy?
35 & Over Community / by persistentJar149
Last post
 December 29th, 2021
...See more I’m sorry in advance that this story is all over the place. I’ve just started my first year of college and just finished me first semester. I made friends and got lots of ppl instagrams. I didn’t talk to them just exchanged info. My roommate called me hoe because I have ppl instagrams but I don’t even talk to anybody. My Instagram started being shared around by the football players cuz I guess they thought I was easy and was gonna pass me around so I cut them all off. All while later I meet this guy and I thought I really liked him and he was a nice guy but to find out he only wanted to sleep with me. I went to his place on some friendly stuff to get to know each other better but he was grabbing me trying to touch on me so I told him that I’m on my period and that I was still a virgin. He talkin bout”we can still do other things and was still kissin on my and touching me but I just felt uncomfortable and scared to say anything to him because I felt bad; he told me I didn’t look like a virgin and how I’m still one. Eventually he took me back and I was happy but it was my fault because I shoulda known. I got drunk at a party and next thing I know I’m being carried into a room layer on the bed and the door shut. I don’t really fully know what was going on until my friends came busting in the door to get me. This happened more than once. I’m steady being called a h** even though all I want is a relationship but all they want is sex. It’s gotten to the point where I be having nightmares and I feel so dirty and disgusted with myself. I’m trying to hold it in but my mental health is becoming worse and I feel useless. A lot of things happened at the end of semester that stressed me out even more where I failed a class and my hair started coming out.I was even thrown up. I just feel like the friends I have aren’t really my friends.I feel like I have to be perfect.I’m trying my hardest to forgot these bad memories but they are haunting me. Is it my fault? Am I really a h**? It’s gotten to the point I don’t even wanna leave my dorm anymore.
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