I have really hard anxious about conflicts

There were a lot of conflicts in my life, all of them ended in the end either badly, or in no way, or well, I live in a not very safe city or country, there are a lot of people who may want to harm me just for who I am (my classmates, my father, etc.), it seems to me that one day I will fight to the death and it will most likely be very soon because I constantly face bullying from teachers, students, and so on, I can defend myself, I can hurt in return, and even very much, but because of this, I have constant anxiety that someone will definitely harm me, and most often it is justified by the school I went to, it is useless to talk to my parents about this, I just don't know who and where to turn to help, so I do it here 💔