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If anyone knows how to do this, please let me know
.

If anyone knows how to do this please let me know. I really wanna know how to detach from everything. These past couple months I realize I give things too much power over me. One thing, one person or situation can instantly ruin my mood or how I feel about life, others and myself in general. For some time I thought it’d be better off to be without people, because I learned that even when things aren’t toxic or filled w drama, people will always still be imperfect & it’s just inevitable. But in general, I can’t avoid people and I sure can’t avoid downfalls or things in life that don’t go as expected. And yes rejection plays apart but what I’m saying is that I just want to be neutral towards everyone and everything, I don’t want to get angry over a no text back or someone cutting me off in line or traffic or a cashiers bad attitude. I don’t want to let an argument with me and my friend cause me so much distress, I don’t want to care so much anymore. it’s like I want to just have no more expectations for anything or anyone, to not assume the best but also not assume the worst either. In a I want to feel nothing, to just be numb, but not to the point where it means I can’t feel anything good but to the point where the bad doesn’t hit me so hard. I want to make friends, relationships and meet people and be able to let them go easily when it’s time to or if they’re not reciprocating, to just be okay with everything to be neutral. And even for my family, to just know that it will not be the last time that they will disappoint or not see me, and not be so reactive about it. Not saying I don’t want to love and enjoy… just don’t want to keep feeling. I want to be empty. What can I do? 

3
PineTreeTree June 6th
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@reliableFriend8097 It is not always easy to be unaffected by the world. I can’t give you step by step how to get there, but I know what you’re wanting and for a time I was in that frame of mind where things didn’t get to me. In a big sense we are fighting not with things as they are in the world but how they are in our head. We are in the habit of “solving” things in our head. Our question often is, “how can I think about my situations differently so I feel better.” Mindfulness meditation has us focus on body and sensations and not letting our mind narrate about everything under the sun. It allows us to learn subtle habits that in effect let us disengage with the experiences that irritate us and yet let us stay connected with it. So we are not “disconnected” or “numb” but we are not as bothered. I’ve had these experiences where something that would have just driven me out of my mind have turned into something I could deal with almost as if it were pleasant. Don’t get me wrong, I have not escaped all annoyances and found magic bliss in everything. But I have made progress and some small part of it kind of thankfully became automatic and almost permanent. 


There is a saying, “meditation isn’t what you think.” Maybe it helps us develop the part of our mind that is nonverbal and wiser than the chatty brain we usually walk around with. Have no fear though, it won’t shut off thinking - not by a long shot. It helped me at least get around some of the things that caused me suffering. For what it’s worth….
reliableFriend8097 OP July 4th
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@PineTreeTree

this helps so much.. thank you! how often do you practice ?

PineTreeTree July 4th
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@reliableFriend8097 wish I could say every day (like I used to) but lately I try to do mini meditations (mindfulness when brushing teeth or washing hands, etc.) I still get a lot of benefit even from the infrequent formal sitting practice.

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