I don’t know what’s my fault anymore

I have a hard time figuring out what’s my fault anymore. Growing up, everything was my fault because I came from emotionally immature parents. If they made me mad and I expressed that, it was my fault. People would (and still do) only ever listen to me in I’m in tears and crying. But sometimes I’m just mad. But like now, I can’t tell if it’s my fault. If I get into an argument with someone because I was talking loud by habit and they interrupted me, is it my fault cause I was talking loud? I’m unsure if I’m allowed to get upset that they interrupted me mid conversation and cut me off because I was the one being loud. Or for instance I got into a conversation with my mother and she said Chai wrong. I joked about her mispronunciation and she got mad at me saying that I never let things go. But then I pointed out how she does that to me all the time and I thought it was normal because she always did it to me. I feel like I’m at fault because I made fun of her saying it wrong but then it also upsets me when she makes fun of my pronunciation of words. The reason why this matters is because I don’t know if I should defend myself or express my opinion because I don’t know what’s my fault and what’s not. I always end up feeling like it’s my fault then getting upset about it later because I hold onto so much anger.