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drzombienoodles
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PathStep 13 Compassion hearts65 Forum posts9 Forum upvotes37 Current upvotes37 Age GroupAdult Last activeNovember, 2024 Member sinceJuly 27, 2024
Recent forum posts
I’m scared of my new job
Work & Career / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more I start a new job on the 12th. It’s a really really good job with awesome benefits. It’s a big girl job I call it. But if I’m being honest, I’m really scared to start working. I feel like I’m too stupid for this job and they are gonna find that out. I feel like I don’t have enough common sense and I’m scared I’ll mess up and they will fire me. Or I’ll ask too many questions or not catch up enough and mess it up. I don’t think I have enough inteligente for this position. It’s an office job doing a lot of important things and I’m just nervous. I’ve never really worked a “real” job before, just teenager jobs like retail and stuff. I’m scared.
I don’t know what’s my fault anymore
Depression Support / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 Wednesday
...See more I have a hard time figuring out what’s my fault anymore. Growing up, everything was my fault because I came from emotionally immature parents. If they made me mad and I expressed that, it was my fault. People would (and still do) only ever listen to me in I’m in tears and crying. But sometimes I’m just mad. But like now, I can’t tell if it’s my fault. If I get into an argument with someone because I was talking loud by habit and they interrupted me, is it my fault cause I was talking loud? I’m unsure if I’m allowed to get upset that they interrupted me mid conversation and cut me off because I was the one being loud. Or for instance I got into a conversation with my mother and she said Chai wrong. I joked about her mispronunciation and she got mad at me saying that I never let things go. But then I pointed out how she does that to me all the time and I thought it was normal because she always did it to me. I feel like I’m at fault because I made fun of her saying it wrong but then it also upsets me when she makes fun of my pronunciation of words. The reason why this matters is because I don’t know if I should defend myself or express my opinion because I don’t know what’s my fault and what’s not. I always end up feeling like it’s my fault then getting upset about it later because I hold onto so much anger.
Everyone is so hypocritical
Depression Support / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 Saturday
...See more You know what really pisses me off? I’m such a passive person. I let people say and do whatever they want to me because I don’t want to deal with conflict. I’m so passive and just let things go. Well recently I discovered how angry and depressed I’m feeling because of it. All I do get mad and freak out on people or just cry alone in my bedroom constantly. so because of that, I’ve started to try and stand up for myself when things bother me and you know what? People are getting mad at me! And these aren’t just strangers, this is my family. When I stand up for myself, they get mad at me and call me ***. But if it was the other way around (which it is usually) I don’t get mad at them. So everyone else can stand up for themselves but I can’t? I’m just supposed to stay passive and weak because that’s what YOUR used to? Because it’s unexpected and new of me to actually voice my opinion? It’s ***!!!
Am I ungrateful?
Self-Esteem / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 2 days ago
...See more My issues is that when people disrespect me (which is everyone all the time) I never stand up for myself. I always just let people be rude and interrupt me or cut me off or ignore me and I never say anything. Then I just let it boil inside me and I get so angry all the time, it’s like the only emotion I feel half the time. I’ve been exploding a lot more lately about little things because I have so many big feelings inside. but my issues also is when I do say something, people get mad at me. For instance, a family friend just cuts me off mid convo and says I’m being too loud and need to quiet down. I get so annoyed when people tell me that. Well I snapped back because it bothered me and then things got awkward. She bought me a bunch of things that weekend so I started feeling guilty and ended up apologizing. But I didn’t apologize because I meant it. I apologized because I felt guilty since she bought me all these things. But I don’t if that makes me a bad person because I apologize out of guilt and not cause I actually feel bad. And now that anger I had before of her telling me to quiet down is still there. That happens all the time, I’m still angry because these people don’t listen and don’t understand. I’m surrounded by A LOT of self involved people who don’t take others feelings into consideration but I feel bad saying that cause they also buy me a ton of things yet disregards all my emotions. Their actions are nice but their attitude hurts. How do I tell people they hurt me without looking ungrateful?
Am I emotionally undeveloped?
20 & Over Community / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 October 20th
...See more I can’t let go on my anger. I bottle it up and I’ve been bottling it up for so long. I’m 21 and I’ve been angry at people since I was 15 but never said anything. It usually would go away but recently my angry and year long grudges keep bubbling up. The stress is slowly killing me. My sleeping habits are awful, I’m gaining weight, I just feel like crying all the time or screaming or breaking something, and I just don’t know what to do. There are people I’m mad at from like three years ago and I want nothing more then to yell at them and tell them everything they did to mess up me because they were an emotional abuse I’ve jerk. And now, I’m mad at my mom. I’ve been angry at my mom since I was old enough to realize how immature and hypocritical she is but I can’t say anything to her! Literally, the last time I tried to kindly tell her why I was upset with her, she said that because she’s my mother and sacrificed her life for me and gave me food and a house to live in, I need to bite my tongue about everything. Meaning I have no right to be upset at her about anything ever for the rest of my life. I’m grateful for her and my childhood, she was a good mom, but she’s not perfect and human emotions don’t work that way. You can’t just forever never get upset at someone especially someone like my mom. My entire family is strange. We just like get along because we are blood related to seems like. Like we are forced to be near each other but in reality, we all find emotional support and happiness in other people. My sister, me, and my mom all find emotional support through friendships. It’s strange, like we are all unattached from each other. Like my father for instance has always been in my life and he’s worked hard to give my family a home and stuff. But even though I’ve known him my whole life, I still feel like I don’t know him. He’s very quiet and to himself, he works most of the time so I never really see him, and it’s one of those things where he feels like a really close acquaintance rather then my father. And my mom and I used to be really close when I was younger but when I grew up and moved out, I learned things about her and about myself that I wouldn’t if I still lived with her. Like I got start thinking for myself which I couldn’t do at home because everyone is closed minded and if it’s not their opinion, it’s the wrong opinion. Point is, now that I’ve been away, there’s so many things my mother does that bothers me. And I can never say anything because shes so unbelievable stubborn and petty and worst of all, she’s a professional victim. She never takes responsibility for her actions and every time someone confronts her about it, she gaslights them. I’m just so mad at her and my ex boyfriend (who was the emotionally abusive person who messed me up) and they are both people I can never confront. Honestly, I never learned how to forgive and I still don’t know how. I grew up in a household full of grudges, being petty and stubborn, and it’s always someone else’s fault. My parents never taught me how to forgive and trust me, that’s someone that is taught not naturally born into you. But now I have to find out how becayse if i could just forgive these people, maybe my pent up anger will go away and I won’t be so emotional all the time. Part of me also thinks it’s because I’m young still and not fully emotionally developed yet.
Can’t Find A Job
General Support / by drzombienoodles
Last post
 September 22nd
...See more I just got rejected from a job I REALLY thought I was going to get. They asked for my references and interviewed me twice and each time went well. I have been unemployed for four months now and had to move back in with my parents. My mother doesn’t want me here, I’m running out of money, and I just keep applying and applying to positions. I don’t understand. Why doesn’t anyone want me? I am applying to jobs that are within my field. I have four years customer service experience and that’s not enough! I have a masters degree and thats not enough! I’m spending all this money on gas to travel for these interviews just to be rejected and I can’t do it anymore but I can’t stop. My mental health is declining, I’m all alone, and I have no one to talk to. I’ve been crying all day because I just don’t know what to do anymore. Why am I not getting jobs? I do everything right on my resume and cover letter, I follow up in emails, I show up to the interviews early and dressed professionally and I’m getting nowhere! I just don’t know what to do anymore and I feel like I’m on the brink of homelessness because I have to step on egg shells around my house. If I do something wrong, my mom will kick me out and then I’m really screwed. I’m just really having a hard time right now.
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