I can't help.
I browse the forums each day and see many people that have worries, concerns or are simply in the midst of deep depression. I feel like i should post something but i never do. Part of it is the policy that says that everything you say must be positive even if something negative sounding is correct/factual. Its this judgement by staff of who's post is good enough and who's is not that gets in my way. My self confidence is almost nonexistent to start with. Being told that what i post is not acceptable reminds me of my childhood where good was never good enough. I have more experience with depression and anxiety then most people 58 years worth yet someone that might have never has clinical depression get to choose what is said here. I feel like my sickness is just not as good as others people sickness when it comes to this. If this was highschool and the Jocks didn't want to hang with me i could understand. This is a mental heath website and these are my people at least in the sense that we have one thing in common, mental heath issues. Yet i feel like i don't even belong here.
Everyone belongs here regardless of severity of their illnesses or problems. I understand what you mean that not being able to say something negative even if it is correct/factual is very difficult and frustrating. But if I may play devil’s advocate for a moment here, the staff cannot know the full set of circumstances surrounding a thread and the individual that posted it. Therefore, they need to err on the side of caution that any and all posts could have someone behind them that is in the worst possible case scenario, and any small negative nudge might cause them to spiral. From a legal standpoint if they did not have this policy or oversight the platform itself and the staff could potentially be sued if there was reason to believe that they may have assisted, whether intentionally or not, in a very negative outcome for the individual that started the thread and potentially others. Now, that all said the judgement of the staff itself can also be wrong, human beings are inherently imperfect creatures after all. I know that you are probably trying your very best to be helpful and that intention is valid and should be applauded but we all want to be helpful or get help and that is what brings us together as a community. As a community we have to choose certain course of action, and often it is the one that is the most generally beneficial course action that we take since we cannot fully evaluate every single case and reach the best possible conclusion in the time we have. So, we have to make an approximation of sorts, and sometimes it’s really hard to accept that approximation as the best course of action that we can say with some confidence.
To finish off I want to circle back and just say that you are good enough, you’re more than that actually. You are making the effort today and probably many other days to be with people like you and me. And that speaks volumes to the goodness in who you are. You are always welcome here, even if it might not seem like that at times. I appreciate your willingness to be open about how this system works makes you feel. That takes confidence to say these things. So, I would say you’re more self-confident than you give yourself credit for, and you should be proud of they fact that you made this thread to speak your mind.
@Gettingbettertoday Maybe it’s not so much about saying something positive or negative. I think it’s more about saying what is supportive. I don’t always succeed in being supportive. It sucks when an admin admonishes me for being unsupportive - it doesn’t feel good. But the monitoring they do is a good thing. It keeps the community functioning. Saying something factual isn’t always necessary. For instance, saying “everybody dies” is factual but it’s probably not a phrase that is helpful at a funeral. I sometimes remember this saying when I have stepped over the line and spoken “truth” when it would have been better not to - the phrase is, “Would you rather be right or kind?” I think for the most part I’d rather be kind. Anyway, I’m glad you’re part of the community and I enjoy reading your posts.
@Gettingbettertoday