How do you deal with deep depression?
I don't have many friends or support. My boyfriend (who i live with and been with for about 15 years) has been becoming more distant with me. We live together but hardly see each other anymore he is on the couch most of the time (when he is not working) and he asked me to move into the spare bedroom about a year ago cause he said i talk in my sleep so it would be better for both of us. I dont really mind having my own room and not sleeping with him its kind of nice but cause of this move our sex life has suffered. I have attempted to talk to him about it cause although sex is not everything it is impacting me he is blaming it on his age (he is much older than me) and basically just tells me to be quiet when i bring it up. We do still go grocery shopping together but thats about it since the lockdowns happened he has become a home body and not want to go out unless we have to. I miss going to the park and conventions and stuff but he has no interest in that anymore. My only other friend lives 8 hours away from me we talk online almost daily but he is going through some really bad health problems and i dont want to bother him with my depression. I am having a hard time dealing with it i been sleeping more than i should and i dont like it i dont know what to do to make myself feel better, I have been trying to make more local friends that might want to do things with me but cause of my social anxity even this has been a struggle. I just dont know what to do.
@BreePix
Hello,
A good support system
can really do wonders. So, I’m sorry that your boyfriend has been becoming
distant. I can see how that would make you feel like you don’t have any
support. This must be a difficult feeling for you. Have you considered pursing
any hobbies that can help you meet more local people? Maybe that will help with
making more local friends. <3 💛💫
@innateJoy9602 I would love to but also have a disability that makes it so i am unable to drive. So i have to have my boyfriend take me anywhere if I want to go out and although most of the time he does not mind as long as i pay my way in to places that cost money (its limited to his days off ect its still hard). I have done a lot of posts on social media looking for locals around my age or even younger than me (since a lot of my hobbies are more in the 20 something crowd (cosplay) or the much older crowed (old star trek) and its just hard. Its like i dont fit anywhere.
It can be really hard to battle against depression like that. I am so sorry that your boyfriend is gettine more distant.
You are doing the best you can with the social anxiety that you have. So you can move towards finding a wider network slowly. As long as you keep trying, you are going to get there. Are there any groups (maybe exercise or bird watching or something) that meet at the park you like? It might be good to try something in a familiar space. You could also try for something that has an online component first and then expand outwards, What kinds of things do you like to do?
If the depression is feeling pretty serious though, it might be time to talk to your doctor about it. Some therapy could give you even more ideas to try and help you come up with a plan for trying them.
Keep reminding yourself that you do deserve love and attention. Sometimes you just have to work to get there. @BreePix
@bestVase7265 I have been working to get there i have posted in facebook groups to try and meet people but all i get from that is i should leave my boyfriend cause he is too old for me....I been with him over 15 years he was with me when i went through thyroid cancer and the couple year adjustment from that. Yes its true i gave up a lot when i moved in with him (12 hours away from any family my job as a wildlife vet tech ect) but i do really love him and can understand with his age that he no longer has an interest in going to comic book conventions or sci fi conventions (although we did bond over star trek TOS). i just dont know. as for seeing therapist sadly not really an option since my health insurance only covers basic medical care. I am still paying off some of my med bills from the thyroid treatments. so its just kinda i dont know
Well I am certainly not going to tell you to leave your boyfriend. You have been together a long time and that matters a great deal. I have been with my husband even longer and he also is older than me. We still do lots of fun things together but we do sleep in different rooms and sex has stopped. It is hard, but I do the best that I can with it.
I will also answer your posts once a day every day if you just want to talk to me here. Sometimes having a venting spot where no one is going to judge you can really help you start to heal.
So you said that you like sci-fi conventions. Have you tried looking at the library or somewhere like that for a group that talks about sci-fi stuff? @BreePix
@bestVase7265 thank you so much.
How were things today?@BreePix
@bestVase7265 boring I did not do much stayed home like always, went on a quick walk just so i could get fresh air but was kinda cold so did not walk far.
Well it is great that you got out walking at all. Even a little bit each day is better than none.
So what kinds of sci fi and comics do you like? @BreePix
@bestVase7265 really big into old star trek from the 60's, firefly, the orville, futurama, some Rick and Morty thrown in for scifi shows for cmics im very much into DC over Marvel although there are some Marvel i like. pretty much all mainstream stuff.
Those all sound quite fun. Do you write any fan fiction kinds of things?
@bestVase7265 no sadly im not much of a writer. I have my talents but writing is not one of them.
I am not much of a fiction writer myself. But I do like to read when I get a chance.
How was your day today? @BreePix
@bestVase7265 i do read a lot mostly older books no one has ever heard of like i use to like to go to second hand stores and just see what people have dropped off there and buy anything that catches my eye for 30 cents lol. I mean of course i have my collections of star trek novels and star wars novels and stuff like that as well but those pretty much stay locked away in my glass bookcase
That sounds awesome! When was the last time that you were at a second hand store to look? That sounds like it would be a great mini-adventure for the week. @BreePix
@bestVase7265 i go about once every other month. Once again not driving it has to be when bf has the day off and i can get him to want to get off the couch and take a look lol
Too bad that you don't have a shop in walking distance. Are you close to anything or is it harder to get out?