@gaellileo , completely vibing with you . Yeah I understand. And I know it sucks . To go through your daze in a haze , without any real registration or reaction to whats happening around you. Sometimes the time seems to take forever to pass. And when , as you say , a month has passed , it's seems like yesterday since you went blue. Because al throughout that one month you haven't felt anything noteworthy or eventful to make you feel time has passed. One is still hurting and in the darkest place imaginable. And it sucks . I. So so damn very sorry you are you are going through such a phase. I know ist damn hard. But please hold in there okay , we can make this better eventually. You have got this. I know it's must seem hard to feel or do anything about the situation right now. But you have got it within you to start feeling differently. Eventually you can . Please don't be too hard on yourself