Help with rumination and intrusive thoughts?

Hi everyone! I am currently struggling with ruminating and intrusive thoughts. My parents have told me before that I have like OCD traits but not OCD itself if I recall correctly. I am ruminating on thoughts of past conversations involving some of my friends. I keep getting stuck and going through the conversations on my devices and I want to move on from that as I have already have dealt with it. But I don’t seem very successful. At most a few days of feeling normal a little bit but even that doesn’t last very long. I have already had experience dealing with rumination in the past. And I have gotten over it before. This seems to have come back a few months (3-4 months or so ago). Sometimes it makes me not want to hangout with my friends as I am still dealing with this.

In addition I have had since roughly around the same period of time, intrusive thoughts of various things. (You know the usual and common themes it seems to be the case) eg. Pedophilia, and the like. I wonder why these things are bad and then I do research into this to try to reassure myself why it is bad but then it’s like in a loop and like my brain forgets or something why some time later. I have wondered more recently as I had a thought about why minors cannot be considered attractive even if they are very close in age to an adult. Again I do research online about this and I feel I get stuck in a loop after trying to reassure myself later on. It feels weird writing all of this as I don’t usually write about this. Unlike with the ruminating I haven’t had previous experiences with intrusive thoughts (at least certainly not to this degree anyway). This all started if I remember correctly when I came across a social media post about something pedo, or something else like that a few months ago? Can’t remember. It makes my head hurt thinking about all of this hence why I decided not to be too elaborative. I thought writing this here might help. I hope I don’t regret this decision to do so.

Anyway, totally unrelated to all of this but I am moving back to the UK from Canada (May 2024) (I currently live in Toronto) as I am going to be doing a volunteer opportunity in Leicester for about a month then I will be most likely staying somewhere in the UK. Yes I can legally live and work there FYI (I was born there). Usual hassle with moving countries. Plus I really have to sort out ideally before I go all my (mainly vintage) computer stuff too; in a storage unit that all of my stuff are taking up about half the space in it. My parents are saying that I either I have to sell pretty much all of it, unless I can give some to my family members as cannot afford to take my big, heavy, items over to the UK (as it could cost a small fortune to do so). Plus different voltage is a problem too. For those of you who know what a PVM (professional video monitor) is. Yeah I have one. Things like an old typewriter and an old Apple IIgs, iMac G3, eMac, etc. And various server hardware normally used in data centres too. This is on top of having to deal with my mental health too.

After all this, feel free to send me a private message to me as long as it’s not a hateful one. If it is one I don’t want to hear it. I wouldn’t mind making some new friends primarily in the UK as that is where I will be shortly.