Don’t know where to turn ⚠️ trigger warning ⚠️
Hello everyone
i have used this app in the past but feel like I need it now more than ever. Here is my current situation.
im 35 with Autism I was diagnosed when I was 32/33. I’m a father to 2 sons one who also has Autism. I’m married for 12 years. I don’t have a good relationship i would say with my parents. I don’t really see my mother and my dad has his moments but I feel that he can take the mick most of the time. I work in a local special needs school which I do love. My colleagues are so understanding and caring. They are like family. Lol the teacher even called herself mother hen haha.
lately I have found I have been struggling mental health wise. My doctor has put me on sertraline and has referred me to the mental health nurse who I have seen only once so far. My work suggested taking time off to see if it helps. I have done this and it’s day 3. I feel no better if truth be told. If anything I feel bad for taking time off like I shouldn’t because I know how hard it can be with a member of staff down.
I have been self harming (cutting and scratching) I have a big scratch on my arm that I keep picking so it doesn’t heal.
It can be quite full on in my house with my autistic son. When he has his moment it makes me feel like I’m a *** father. I tend to not speak about my feeling as I do sometimes find it hard to put them into words (if that makes sense). For example at this moment I’m sat on my sofa on my pjs I can tell my my face that I’m not happy but in my head it’s like there is nothing there like a dark abyss of nothingness.
you must all think I’m crazy and need a padded sell after all that.
@LostAutistic87
Hey there, thank you for sharing your story with us. You are not alone in what you are going through. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate with being a father to two sons, one of whom has Autism, and working at a special needs school. It's great that you have supportive colleagues at work, but I understand that it can be tough to deal with family relationships that are not as positive.
It's good to hear that you are seeking help for your mental health through medication and seeing a mental health nurse. Taking time off work to focus on your mental health is a brave and important step. It's important to remember that mental health struggles can take time to improve, and it's okay to take the time you need to focus on yourself.
I'm sorry to hear that you are self-harming and feeling like you are not a good father. It's important to remember that parenting is a challenging job, especially when one of your children has special needs. Be kind to yourself and remember that you are doing the best you can.
It's understandable that you find it hard to put your feelings into words. Sometimes it can be helpful to express your feelings in other ways, like through drawing or journaling. It's okay to reach out to others for support and help in understanding and expressing your feelings.
You are not crazy, and you don't need a padded cell. You are a strong person for reaching out for help and support. Keep taking care of yourself, and know that there are people who care about you and want to help you through this difficult time.
Absolutely not. You sound like a perfectly normal person who is struggling a bit right now.
You are doing all the right things. The problem is that they take a while to work and it is hard to see them.
Are you able to get outside at all? That can help a bit in managing things.@LostAutistic87