Depressed.

Made several posts venting about my mental health in a private thread in a mental health *** server, and got told to off myself instead. Makes me wonder why these spaces exist, yet when people are suffering and are asking for help and expressing their true pain, we are made fun of and are told that we are better off not alive and that no one loves us. I have vented to several people who claimed to be "there for me if I needed to talk", and they all ghosted/distanced themselves from me as soon as I expressed mental health struggles. Ironically, a lot of my mental health problems are rooted in feelings of loneliness, worthlessness, self-loathing, fear of abandonment, and not fitting in. I realized after graduating college that unless you have something to offer, no one cares about you. No wonder so many people in my age group feel so lonely, miserable, and depressed. I always see people preach the same things online about the importance of connection and community empowerment, yet I step outside of the house and it feels like the exact opposite. I have reinstalled and uninstalled friend-making apps and feel increasingly drained each time I open them up. I know that my bullies are laughing at me right now