Defeated
I have been struggling with anxiety and depression for the past couple of years. I also have the highly sensitive personality trait, which only exacerbates my emotional issues. I took an SSRI for a while, but it gave me headaches and nausea fairly often. The medication eventually made me feel numb to even happy experiences, so I gradually stopped taking it. I was unemployed for a while after being laid off, and I had finally gotten a new job.
Today, after almost two months, I quit by email before my shift because I couldn't handle the stress. We were trained, but not nearly as well or for as long as I feel was needed. It was an insurance call center job and the questions from providers were very complicated. I was so lost that I had an emotional breakdown while reaching out for help, and I felt so defeated. The caller kept asking questions that I couldn't answer and I ended up having to transfer to a team lead because they were so upset. I'd been terrified of losing my job anyway because I was in my 90 day "qualifying period," so I talked about it with my husband and we decided it was okay to quit to avoid being let go for poor performance. The expectations were insane, and I really didn't see myself meeting those expectations, especially with my unstable emotional state. I am just looking for reassurance that I am not alone in this. Please let me know if any of you can relate.
I wasn't able to edit the post, so I would just like to add that I hope I don't sound as selfish as I feel. I want so badly to be mentally healthy and to function the way I did before I developed these disorders. A few years ago, I wasn't happy with my job either, but the stress didn't affect me nearly as much. I was also able to do a lot more for the people I care about. I feel like I'm such a burden to my husband, and I think he would be better off with someone else. I try so hard to function as an average adult, but my lack of control over my anxiety greatly interferes with working and socializing. I am very grateful for everything I have, but I'm deeply unhappy and constantly worried. I can't control it anymore.
@Kayla0721 hi sweetie in lola ❤❤ gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ depression and anxiety is not easy. Your feelings and emotions are unfortunately very common, with these disabilities. So try not to be too hard on yourself ❤ I'm glad you got a supportive loving husband. Sends love and healing beams your way ❤❤
hello Kayla,
I am sorry to hear you're going through a tough time. Thank you for sharing your story with us, it is incredibly hard to get it out sometimes. I feel that I had to reach out when I read your post.
Firstly, don't be too harsh on yourself. I am sad to hear you went through a layoff. No matter how long you were with the company, whether it was your career, it is a devastating situation that you can't control.
I can totally understand that as we grow older, with our commitments, such situation can throw us far back financially and that is damaging not only to our mental health as well as our family routine.
Call center work is never easy and you are courageous to try it. It is indeed not for everyone and don't beat yourself too hard on it. I am certain you will find something that you're meant to do.
Good luck and feel free to reach out if you need to talk.
Light
When your brain and emotions can't handle a job then it isn't the right job for you. Call center jobs are notoriously hard. You can find something better.
So take a deep breath, take the weekend to rest, and start looking for something else on Monday. It sounds like you are already in a better spot in terms of starting to heal. You will find something.
You are a burden to no one. Your brain is discovering new ways to operate and that is okay (even though it is very painful at times) @Kayla0721
For what it’s worth: I’ve heard that even “normal” people crash and burn out of customer service positions, including call center jobs. It’s not an easy job, and good on you for sticking with it for as long as you did. Even better that you made the decision to take care of yourself and leave when you did. You aren’t a failure for quitting and your worth isn’t tied to your output.
Absolutely! @generousBeing7908
@Kayla0721
I am inviting you to join me in the Sharing Circle chat room ! 😊
Many members of the Sharing Circle chat room talk about work related stress. 😊