Another Bad Day
Having another bad day. Mom's birthday was 11/9 and I miss her so much. I drank way too much over the weekend again, as usual, and put myself in a very bad place today. My IBS is flaring up so bad, I'm in so much pain and just wanting it all to go away right now. I feel like I'm starting to resent my wife (for what reasons I don't know), and since she's really the one consistent source of support I have, it scares me so much. I know I love her, she's an amazing woman, but lately I just want to be alone and just hide from everyone and everything including her. I just don't know how much longer I can keep going through these cycles of pain and suffering, both mental and physical.
@VintageDougers gives you a giant festive tiny hug ❤ you know maybe you do need a break away from it all, perhaps a weekend break by the beach or in the woods. Something relaxing, perhaps with friends just have a bit of fun, a bit of time to clear your mind ❤❤gives you a giant tiny hug ❤ sorry your having such a hard time. I'm always here for you ❤
@Tinywhisper11 Thank you so much. My wife and I are actually taking a trip to a cabin for a few days next week. It's the Thanksgiving holiday here in the US so I won't need to use any of my own PTO, which is good because I used it all up while Mom was in the hospital. We had no family commitments for the holiday this year and thought it might be nice to get away.
While I am looking forward to that, it's hard to be too excited knowing that all the negatives will still be here when I get back. I'm not very good at living in the moment, my mind is constantly running about anything and everything.
@VintageDougers aww! I understand that, our brains can be our own worst enemy. But allow yourself to get excited, and have fun, just relax with the beautiful scenery ❤❤ and when you get back, you still have us to support you ❤ this is your safe place to get all your bad thoughts and sadness out ❤ I'm always here for you ❤ go have fun, you deserve it