Advice/Rant
I had depression last year while I was in 8th grade but with support I got out of it. Now im a freshman and it’s back way worse than before. It’s mostly due to my dad. I hate him for how he treats me and my mom and my brothers. My mom has tried to leave him but he threatens to sell the house or kill himself and then she backs down. She runs an in home daycare so that would leave her out of a job and a home. He argues with her constantly because she sticks up for us and because he’s out of control, for example just the other day he sent her a screenshot of the new Beyoncé album and said if she downloaded it he would divorce her. When I stick up for her it just turns into me vs him and it’s gotten physical a couple of times, he is relatively unhealthy but still has muscle from his time in the army. I wish nothing more than him dying of a heart attack or him getting in a car crash just so we would be free. He has my 10 year old brother having suicidal/self harm thoughts. He is a 10 year old, he should not have to deal with this. I just need advice on what to do, how to fix this, because I can’t sit by and watch it happen anymore.
@MetalEnthusiast hello again ❤❤ awww sweetie this is heartbreaking to hear😥 I'm not great with advice on family things, I've never actually had parents or family. It's a very sad situation, and it's always the kids who suffer the most😥 I wish strength to your mum, to take you all away from this situation. I'm really not sure what to say to comfort you best, sorry. So I'm just gonna sit beside you, and give you a giant tiny hug ❤❤ I may not always know what to say, but I will always be here to listen, and my arms are always open to hug you ❤ I hope you get lots of support here, my heart goes out to you ❤❤ please continue to reach out here for support ❤
@MetalEnthusiast
I am very sorry you have to deal with this.
Does your dad have his own mental health issues ? does he have substance or alcohol abuse? does he have any stresses in his life a bad workplace ... debt .... ?
People who lash out over simple things and make over the top claims like selling house etc....are not rational. They may seek control over weaker people like kids or wife because they feel no control over any other aspect in their life.... this is NOT an excuse......... but you are NOT dealing with a rational person.
YOUR mom should be the one seeking help for her and you kids. Making a public record of his issues/ threats/ physical violence ...........makes any irrational move for him a way to be in jail etc.
For example ( depending on where you are) Is house in both their names? or even in a marriage she can have legal standing as co-owner ... he can NOT sell out from under her ............while she may fear loss of business and her home....... this is a semi empty threat .... she should consult a lawyer to see just what would happen ... some have free consultations ... domestic abuse should not be ignored based on empty threats.
If people knew.... that may hurt your moms daycare also........ as a parent would not want their child in a home with an irrational person having access to the home business.
Has she thought of that aspect in losing her income? is being quiet and taking abuse worth it for this daycare? The question is NOW who is more important your family or the business...
Once you find the threats no longer have power over you .......you can do other things ...like documenting the violence and issues in case of any other actions.
IF he has threatened that he will take his life.... perhaps your mom should make sure there is a will and what the status of all finances are before .........should he take this route ........being prepared is better then living in fear.
If he has gotten physical with you......... have you spoke to anyone for example counselor at school?
Reports of any type when they have merit shows the abuser they are no longer terrorizing behind closed doors or in secret ..... it is like telling him fine throw your fit .......in the middle of a crowd....
All these are mere suggestions and depending on his issues ........ confronting someone can get some to seek help and change .............others have lashed out or actually taken their life.
I am not blaming anyone for not taking steps only your family knows what your situation is....but even taking small steps gives you strength to face things. documentation with dates and times etc make a difference.
