A disease called love has led to my severe depression

Sounds like you’ve been infatuated for a long long time. I had a years long separation that finally ended in divorce. It was heart breaking too. I was referred to a psychologist by my lawyer and finally saw a psychiatrist and was put on antidepressants. They helped me tremendously. Perhaps you too can find some assistance through therapy and medicine. Once I was in a mentally stable place, I started dating again. Things are still challenging, but the pain has faded. A replacement heals the past wounds pretty well. Best wishes, and please keep the hope. Also, please seek out support as it sounds like you need it.

@Sanvee11

Hey, I just read your post, and my heart goes out to you. I know exactly how heavy unrequited love can feel—like the world has lost its color and you’re just stuck in this endless loop of hurt. I’ve been through something similar myself. I had my first love a few years ago, and while we dated for two years, I messed things up, and it really crushed me. For the longest time, I carried so much regret, and it felt impossible to move on.

But I want to tell you something important—something I wish I had realized sooner:
It’s easy to feel like all your happiness is tied to someone else, especially if you’ve been in love with them for years. But the truth is, happiness that depends on another person will never feel steady. Love isn’t supposed to make you lose yourself. You’re supposed to feel whole first—and that comes from learning to love yourself.

What really helped me, even though it wasn’t easy, was trying to enjoy my single life and slowly shifting my focus to me. I realized I had to stop trying to “win back” someone else and start working on the parts of my life that were broken. It’s okay to miss him and feel hurt—there’s nothing wrong with grieving what could have been. But your life can’t stop here.

Try little things—taking care of your health, learning something new, journaling your thoughts, or doing things that make you happy, even if it’s just small things like going for a walk or listening to music. Over time, you’ll see that life has so much more to offer than just one person.

And trust me, healing takes time. It’s not a straight road, and you’ll have good days and bad days, but you are stronger than you feel right now. One day, when you look back, you’ll realize that focusing on yourself was the best thing you ever did. You have so much value, and you deserve to feel peace and joy from within, not just from a relationship.

Please hang in there, okay? You’re not alone, and your life is worth so much more than this pain you’re feeling right now. Take it day by day, step by step. You’ve got this.

@Sanvee11 Hello. I am sorry, but this time I've found it much easier to feel myself in the boy's shoes rather like as a person posting here.

I can imagine myself being in his situation. A few years ago I had a female friend. She's been a wonderful person, but we decided to not push it into a relationship - just having some tea and playing Scrabble, going for a walk together etc. Obviously, I backed off when she found herself in a relationship. But then it started: When I asked her how she was doing, she kept telling me she was poisoned with a dietary supplement (doctors said otherwise) and going to decease very soon. She started bombing me (not for the first time) with long messages saying how I should change my life (to some extent her insights were very correct). But it was not about what she was telling me, but how. I believed it was making harm to her. And (after politely asking her to stop) I had no other choice than to block her on all communication channels.

I hope she's better now and sending her good thoughts.

Sorry for this story taking too long, but I believe you and my friend may have something in common.

I believe a real, warm and compassionate love is never a devastating force.

But obsessive thinking is.

I am sorry, but in my view trying to contact a person, who expressed the wish of not staying in touch with you, from ten different phone numbers may be regarded as stalking and is abusive.

I hope you see the first person you should try to love and accept (unconditionally) is yourself. And find some help for you.

Please, do not hesitate to contact an emergency hot line in your area, in case your thoughts about self-harm persist.

Thank you for reminding me I could unblock my friend and check how she is doing.

Sometimes we must separate good people from the wrong actions they take. This seems to be what the boy did. And it's not easy, believe me.

I keep my fingers crossed for you! 🤞