New year? (TW: mention of suicide kinda)
It's the holidays and the new year and all of that but when the clock hit midnight the only thing I thought was "well, another year where I didn't kill myself just ended" depression is coming up weirdly recently for me and I feel alone (I am alone actually) and numb as 2018 starts. I'm pretty I'm not the only feeling all that...
I guess my mom was right, I think too much, too often, too deep, all the time.
But what else can I do? What do you do? And how do you feel?
Still, a happy new year to anyone reading this.
I TOTALLY relate. So many New Years all I have been able to think is "another year I survived but I'm still here depressed and suicidal as ever." I've stopped viewing it negatively though. I'm glad I've survived. So many people wouldn't know me or laugh with me. I wouldn't have met my boyfriend/eventual husband. Sure, I still struggle and sometimes don't see the light, but the wars I've won so far should prove I can keep fighting and make it through. Sometimes the idea I could be dead hits me like a ton of bricks and I feel guilty, but I'm glad to be here (most days at least) and I'm glad you're here too. Deep breaths! Take it one day at a time. <3
