In case one day you think about suicide...
September 10 is World Suicide Prevention Day, an awareness-raising event organized by the International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) and the World Health Organisation (WHO), with the motto "Creating Hope Through Action: You can be the Light" (watch their video HERE)
For this occasion, I wish to share with you an extract of a frequently quoted article by Jaelline Jaffe, Ph.D., Lawrence Robinson, and Jeanne Segal, Ph.D. on dealing with suicidal ideations or urges.
Note: If you are currently experiencing suicidal ideations, go immediately to the 7 Cups’ Crisis Resources page HERE, where you will find “crisis hotlines” all over the world, where trained personnel can assist you by phone or texting.
In case one day you think about suicide…
If one day you find yourself thinking about suicide, your pain may seem overwhelming and permanent. But there are ways to cope with suicidal thoughts and feelings and overcome the pain.
If you’re having suicidal thoughts
No matter how much pain you’re experiencing right now, you’re not alone. Many of us have had suicidal thoughts at some point in our lives. Feeling suicidal is not a character defect, and it doesn’t mean that you are crazy, or weak, or flawed. It only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. But with time and support, you can overcome your problems and the pain and suicidal feelings will pass.
Image by: Pan American Health Organization / WHO
Some of the finest, most admired, needed, and talented people have been where you are now. Many of us have thought about taking our own lives when we’ve felt overwhelmed by depression and devoid of all hope. But the pain of depression can be treated and hope can be renewed.
No matter what your situation, there are people who need you, places where you can make a difference, and experiences that can remind you that life is worth living. It takes real courage to face death and step back from the brink. You can use that courage to face life, to learn coping skills for overcoming depression, and for finding the strength to keep going. Remember:
Your emotions are not fixed—they are constantly changing. How you feel today may not be the same as how you felt yesterday or how you’ll feel tomorrow or next week.
Your absence would create grief and anguish in the lives of friends and loved ones.
There are many things you can still accomplish in your life.
There are sights, sounds, and experiences in life that have the ability to delight and lift you—and that you would miss.
Your ability to experience pleasurable emotions is equal to your ability to experience distressing emotions.
Why do I feel suicidal?
Many kinds of emotional pain can lead to thoughts of suicide. The reasons for this pain are unique to each one of us, and the ability to cope with the pain differs from person to person. We are all different. There are, however, some common causes that may lead us to experience suicidal thoughts and feelings.
Why suicide can seem like the only option
If you are unable to think of solutions other than suicide, it is not that other solutions don’t exist, but rather that you are currently unable to see them. The intense emotional pain that you’re experiencing right now can distort your thinking so it becomes harder to see possible solutions to problems—or to connect with those who can offer support.
Therapists, counselors, friends, or loved ones can help you to see solutions that otherwise may not be apparent to you. Please give them a chance to help.
A suicidal crisis is almost always temporary
Although it might seem as if your pain and unhappiness will never end, it is important to realize that crises are usually temporary. Solutions are often found, feelings change, unexpected positive events occur. Remember: suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Give yourself the time necessary for things to change and the pain to subside.
Even problems that seem hopeless have solutions
Mental health conditions such as depression, are treatable with changes in lifestyle, therapy, and medication. Most people who seek help can improve their situation and recover.
Even if you have received treatment for a disorder before, or if you’ve already made attempts to solve your problems, know that it’s often necessary to try different approaches before finding the right solution or combination of solutions. When medication is prescribed, for example, finding the right dosage often requires an ongoing process of adjustment. Don’t give up before you’ve found the solution that works for you. Virtually all problems can be treated or resolved.
Take these immediate actions
If you ever have the experience of feeling suicidal, please follow these five steps:
Step #1: Promise not to do anything right now
Even though you’re in a lot of pain right now, give yourself some distance between thoughts and action. Make a promise to yourself: “I will wait 24 hours and won’t do anything drastic during that time.” Or, wait a week.
Thoughts and actions are two different things—your suicidal thoughts do not have to become a reality. There is no deadline, no one’s pushing you to act on these thoughts immediately. Wait. Wait and put some distance between your suicidal thoughts and suicidal action.
Step #2: Avoid drugs and alcohol
Suicidal thoughts can become even stronger if you have taken drugs or alcohol. It is important to not use nonprescription drugs or alcohol when you feel hopeless or are thinking about suicide.
Step #3: Move to a safe place and make your home safe
Go to a place where you can feel safe, like a friend’s house or a library. Or a room in your house where you feel safe. If you have to stay at home, keep away from things you could use to hurt yourself. If you are thinking of taking an overdose, give your medicines to someone who can return them to you one day at a time as you need them.
Step #4: Don’t keep these suicidal feelings to yourself
Many of us have found that the first step to coping with suicidal thoughts and feelings is to share them with someone we trust. It may be a family member, friend, therapist, member of the clergy, teacher, family doctor, coach, or an experienced counselor at the end of a helpline.
Find someone you trust and let them know how bad things are. Don’t let fear, shame, or embarrassment prevent you from seeking help. And if the first person you reach out to doesn’t seem to understand, try someone else. Just talking about how you got to this point in your life can release a lot of the pressure that’s building up and help you find a way to cope.
Step #5: Take hope – people DO get through this
Even people who feel as badly as you are feeling now manage to survive these feelings. Take hope in this. There is a very good chance that you are going to live through these feelings, no matter how much self-loathing, hopelessness, or isolation you are currently experiencing. Just give yourself the time needed and don’t try to go it alone.
You can read the full article HERE
You might also be interested in the following video by the suicide prevention organization of Australia:
Link in Youtube: https://youtu.be/MtTRUm86PJ4
Note that the phone numbers shown in this video correspond to Australia. For “crisis hotlines” all over the world, go to the 7 Cups’ Crisis Resources page HERE,
Another enlightening video by the World Health Organization: Click HERE
@HealingTalk thanks for the article! I wanted to contribute something so adding these quotes. Dedicated to those who are struggling and in need of affirmation.
@HealingTalk Thank you so so much for this wonderful post. Suicide is never the answer and there is always someone will to listen and there's always support out there for you!
I think it's important to remember that not all suicidal thoughts are considered crisis. Suicidal thoughts can be a spectrum, from active to passive and it's important to know the difference. If you have never had any thoughts of suicide before and aren't sure what to do, always seek medical attention! I have attached some more information below about passive and active suicidal thoughts and how to know the difference.
https://www.biltmorecounseling.com/anxiety/the-difference-b-n-passive-and-active-suicide-ideation/
If you are having any sort of suicidal thoughts, please call the Hotline at 988 in America and if you are not in America, here is a list of international hotlines: https://blog.opencounseling.com/suicide-hotlines/
I hope this is helpful! You are all so wonderful <3
@fruityPond7887
Super duper helpful, thanks, lovely. You are an incredibly thoughtful hooman! 💛
@Sunisshiningandsoareyou Aw you make my heart happy Sun! ☀️
Thank you, @fruityPond7887 for the valuable resources and your encouraging words!
We all at the Depression Support SubCommunity belong to a high-risk group.
We must learn, without taboos or stigmas, to be prepared for such an emergency.
The resources you provide us are a valuable contribution to this learning we must do.
@HealingTalk Suicide?? Is that real???
I thought listeners in this site were supposed to avoid suicidal people and throw them to the corner. For a while, I imagined these people have been vanished from this world...
(For the ones uncapable to understand my sarcasm, I am a suicidal person. That's why I've been here and it's the reason from my irony. =)
In any case, if you need assistance for that kind of problem, you can contact me and share your heart to me. I'll do my best to support you.
@NandaPaula27
Aló Fernanda!
I am certain that "this site" has saved many lives.
Both in the literal sense, and also allowing people to get out of desperate, seemingly doomed situations, allowing them to carry on with their lives, grow, and eventually flourish.
I say this based on real cases I know. Some of them are people I love much.
That's why I am hugely grateful to 7 Cups. It is not perfect because it is real.
Supporting people in those terrible situations, is preventing suicide.
Providing them with a network of fellow travelers on the same path, who in many cases they become close trusted friends, is preventing suicide.
And supporting them in their worst crisis, too.
This is what I honestly think and believe based on my personal experience with people here that I got to know very well.
Yes, there is a rule against having 1 to 1 chats with actively suicidal people.
I abide by this rule. I have doubts about it. I felt terrible every time I applied it.
I guess it sets a boundary that protects the organization. An organization that does so much good needs to be protected to continue doing good.
People that enter here have been told that 7 Cups doesn't provide live support for actively suicidal people, like the Samaritans or "life hotlines" do. They are shown where to go for that need.
It's like a hospital that anticipates you "we don't have a traumatology department, if you need this kind of attention and treatment you can go here, here or here"
The forums are very different.
With euphemisms, contrived language, or more or less indirect allusions, the possibility of suicide appears frequently in posts by members of this and other subcommunities.
Those who share those concerns in the forums, in a rule-abiding way, are always embraced and supported.
They might eventually be shown the "Crisis" link, but never rejected. This is my experience in the forums, and can be easily seen all around here.
This thread is not about a 1 to 1 chat with an actively suicidal person, but about the nature of suicidal situations, and a contingency plan in case any of us, including me and you, fall into that deep pit.
In my case, I know I have to be prepared, because I do have "risk factors", as many members of the Depression Subcomunity do.
You, Fernanda, must also take good care of yourself.
You must live for another hundred years, minimum, because you are a wonderful, powerful person, that has a lot to give to others and to yourself.
Um grande abraço!
Marcelo.
@HealingTalk Yeah, it's good to clarify that. I have knowledge about the forums since I started in this site, bc I used it and followed people there with the same problems as mine, depression and etc. That was actually what brought me more involved with the community.
6, 7 years ago the effects of the forums were different from now. I feel people were more engaged and also we used to have those interactions in our profiles, that worked like a blog or a personal space, which helped us to be closer to each other.
Anyway, I hope these forums still work for some. And yeah, some people in this site saved my life as well many times when I was in bad situations or crisis.
That's why I became a listener at first place, bc I felt this could be a space of support and growth. And for some years, it was all that. I don't feel it is anymore.
I still keep giving help to the ones who need bc I know how hard it is to find someone who cares and gives the right attention to these kinds of problems. And I don't ignore any of them. On the contrary, I embrace more.
it makes me so terribly sad when I hear someone has ended his or her life. It breaks my heart.
@momcares68
You are a compassionate person, MomCares.
It's always very sad when someone passes away.
But when that happens because they did it intentionally to themselves, on top of that, we know they experienced immense suffering, hopelessness, isolation, etc. and they couldn't handle the situation.
And this in itself is very, very sad indeed.
Once it happened, we can only lament it.
But we can do a lot to prevent it, by supporting people who are going through a rough time in their lives.
First and foremost, among people we know in real life.
And also here, for example by browsing the Forums and replying kindly to people that express much distress.
We can contribute to alleviating suffering, and we might even be helping to save lives.
Thank you for coming here to share your thoughts and feelings!
I wish you all the best.
Marcelo.
@quietStrings7498
Thank you for your kind words! I am glad you have found this thread valuable.
Regarding the case you present, I don't know the precise circumstances, but in general, I think cruelty is always unacceptable, immoral, and vile. Even worse from a person that has ample knowledge and full understanding of the damage and pain they might cause when hurting vulnerable people with cruel remarks and wishing them the worst.
Also, an advocate of any good cause must be consistent, in their private life, with the values they promote in public. Both from a basic ethic standpoint, and because of the damage they cause to that noble cause by being an example of the opposite of what they preach.
I am very sorry you if have been hurt by a person like that, and I understand your rightful indignation if they project a saintly image that is the opposite of their real nature.
I wish you that you heal those wounds, and that those events exert the least possible influence on your emotional life.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts, experiences and feelings.
I look forward to meeting you again soon.
All the best!
Marcelo.
Thank you so much for sharing this article and for the message it brings to so many!!! I do understand the concern in discussing topics such as this, as well as the the risks involved; however, I also understand the importance and necessity of such topics. I myself have experienced suicidal ideation many times throughout my life, and I know how difficult it is to reach out for help. I encourage anyone that is struggling in this way to do just that, please reach out for help and allow others to reach back in response. Your life does matter, even if you don't feel that way in the moment... you are important, even if it doesn't seem that way right now... you are loved and you are capable of loving, even if you can't or don't believe it right now. These feelings and thoughts that you are experiencing when you find yourself in this place are temporary, even if it doesn't seem or feel like it right now. If there is one thing that you can count on, it is change... change is inevitable, and when you have reached your bottom, there's no other way but up.
@SerenitysFire
Thank you for your important and clear message, backed by your lived experience.
A message like this can save lives.
@HealingTalk
Thank you... I believe it's an important and complex message. We may be separated by our own experiences (which are as varied as opinions), but that shouldn't mean that we have to be separated by the level of support we give and receive.
@SerenitysFire
I totally agree.
While 7 Cups has a policy against functioning as a "suicide hotline" in 1 to 1 chats, it does provide much support that, I can attest, has saved lives.
Your message is an example of life-saving support.
I made a distinction about that policy and the life-saving support that 7 Cups provides, in a previous post in this same thread, that you can find HERE.
@HealingTalk
it's soothing to read
I have been thinking about suicide for over ten years and very consistently it's like I carry this heavy burden since I can remember but when I spend time joking around with some friends of mine I can temporarily forget it. I will know I will never act on it I try to take every avaible measure to care for my body instead. I just made an eternal promise to myself to stay alive and get as old as possible to give myself a chance to make it through to the other side. Because I know if I keep on going and trying again I don't have to regret anything the day that I will leave this world, even if I made a mistake I might have still tried to turn it around or do it often enough to get fed up with it and learn, or even just gave myself a chance to learn by doing it again and again.
I just want to say no matter how much these thoughts are bothering somebody we do not have to act on them and the mental capacity of human beings is incredible, we need to wait and see it through to know the reward of our suffering, a friend of mine said: "You don't find diamonds in the street, you have to mine for them"
I did no make it trough yet but that is the belief that has been saving my life so far
@Seacu
Thank you for sharing such an honest and detailed account of your personal experience with the idea of taking vs keeping your life. Such a deep and difficult topic.
Yours is a very courageous and healthy attitude towards life.
And your words, based on personal decisions and experience, are wise.