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Habit Buddies

HealingTalk August 22nd, 2022


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Some weeks ago in a check-in (here) we discussed regular physical activity as a fundamental practice for dealing with depression.

More in general, establishing certain habits, like regular exercise, a good sleep routine, eating healthy food, socializing, practicing a hobby, etc. help much for improving your mood.

However, a most logical and reasonable answer that frequently comes up is “I lack the motivation to do that because I am depressed”. The things that might help you with depression seem inaccessible because of the same depression they are supposed to help with.

There is a genuine paradox, a “catch 22” or chicken-and-egg problem.

A powerful, time-tested way of breaking this paradoxical circle is by having a “buddy” (or many), a person you tell regularly how you are progressing toward establishing a habit.

This practice was first introduced as a large movement, and its power was proved, by the successful Alcoholic Anonymous organization. This approach was later adopted for other uses, like dealing with other addictions, Weight Watchers, running groups, etc. Some were about getting rid of bad habits, others acquiring new positive ones, or a combination of both.

The power of all these lies in the fact that, as social animals that we are, hardwired for social approval, having to tell other people about our progress, is a strong reminder and in itself a reason to do what we promised ourselves. We feel good when we tell “I did it” but embarrassed to say “I didn’t”.

A “buddy program” is a minimalistic version of those large groups, by which you connect with just one person (or a few) to tell each other regularly, how you are complying with your goals.


Just ask a friend or family member: “Can I report to you weekly how I am doing in establishing X, Y and Z habits? My goals are: to do X 3 times a week, Y every morning…etc.

And then, once a week, you text them about this.


Also, In these smartphone-centered times, there are many apps that help you connect with a “buddy” to support each other in building healthy habits like exercise, eating healthy, meditation, etc.

There are websites that connect you with like-minded people to do the same with hobbies like writing (NaNoWriMo) or visual arts (Deviant Art, Flickr, or Inktober) for mutual exchange and motivation. Those are used by professionals too.

And… we have a Buddy Program in 7 Cups! (in the Healthy Living Subcommunity) (Click Here).


Questions

1. Think of someone in your life that could be your “Buddy” for developing and keeping mood-improving habits. Who would they be?

2. Name three small, achievable habits you would like to introduce in your life, that might improve your mood

3. How well have you been doing lately in complying with the habits you set for yourself?

4. What do you think of having a “Buddy”? Can you do it? Would it work for you?

5. Please take a look at 7 Cups’ Buddy Program HERE.

6. And finally, how have you been feeling lately?


All questions are optional. You can add any comments you wish, as they come to your mind.

I look forward to your answers!


As a final note, if you find it interesting to join the Depression Support team, learn more about how to join, by clicking HERE.


I wish you all the best!


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If you wish to be added to the Depression Support taglist, press HERE

11
purpleTree4652 August 22nd, 2022

@HealingTalk

Hi, Talk,

1. Think of someone in your life that could be your “Buddy” for developing and keeping mood-improving habits. Who would they be? I don't have anyone.

2. Name three small, achievable habits you would like to introduce in your life, that might improve your mood 1. exercise 2. meditate 3. regular sleep schedule

3. How well have you been doing lately in complying with the habits you set for yourself? I didn't know about this before now.

4. What do you think of having a “Buddy”? Can you do it? Would it work for you? It might.

5. Please take a look at 7 Cups’ Buddy Program HERE. I will check this out.

6. And finally, how have you been feeling lately? terrible mostly, like a hurricane of emotions and feelings and thoughts


6 replies
bestVase7265 August 23rd, 2022

Sending peace. I am thinking of you.@purpleTree4652

4 replies
purpleTree4652 August 23rd, 2022

@bestVase7265

Hi, Vase,

Thank you so very much.

I have an interview at Wendy's tomorrow morning. Please pray they want to hire me and can pay me enough.

3 replies
bestVase7265 August 23rd, 2022

I will do that. You are going to find something soon. @purpleTree4652

2 replies
purpleTree4652 August 23rd, 2022

@bestVase7265

If I don't, I might be moving across country again. I don't want to. But if I can't find a job here, and can't get into low-income housing, I will have to move in with those people again.

1 reply
bestVase7265 August 24th, 2022

Focus on what is possible for now rather than worrying too much about that possibility that you don't want. You are doing the best you can with what you have for now. One day at a time. @purpleTree4652

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HealingTalk OP August 22nd, 2022

@purpleTree4652

Hello!!

Thank you for coming here!

You might notice I took your advice...

I am also trying to establish a regular exercise habit, a healthy sleep schedule and get back to meditating daily.

So I can't agree more that those are important goals.

There is some synergy among them too.

In particular, in my experience, exercise helps you sleep better and fall asleep earlier.

It also helps get rid of excessive anxiety which, besides being excellent in itself, makes it easier to sit down and stay still for some minutes to meditate.

So I think exercise is the foundation for feeling better, by itself, and by facilitating the establishment of other healthy and healing practices.

I am glad that you think having a "buddy" to help you establish healthy habits might work for you.

If you don't find any suitable person among those you know, you might consider joining a "Buddy Program" like that of 7 Cups.

I am sorry that you felt so bad lately. What are those so disturbing emotions, feelings and thoughts about?

Thank you again for checking in.

All the best!

Marcelo

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sheanemone September 19th, 2022

@HealingTalk

subscribing to this thread immediately!!

absolutely hyped for a buddy accountability system

1 reply
HealingTalk OP September 19th, 2022

@sheanemone

I am glad that you liked the idea!

You can join right now the Buddy Program at the Healthy Living SubCommunity, where you will find people from many subcommunities posting their search for a Buddy:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/HealthyLiving_141/HealthyLivingBUDDIESProgram_1018/

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Brainhack249 September 21st, 2022

Thank you for the info. In desperate need of a buddy

1 reply
HealingTalk OP September 22nd, 2022

@Brainhack249

You are welcome!

I am glad that you deem it useful.

All the best!

Marcelo.

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