Confused
Hi, I'm 14 years old, I've told this story many times. My parents forced me to work a lot and study a lot. They put a lot of pressure on me, the times in which I could forget all these things. When I had access to the internet and got my phone. I neglected my studies, for video games, it caused problems in the family. I got bad grades, felt stupid and felt like a fraud, this turned into a porn addiction. My life was very rough for a period, I even thought the world was better without me a few times. I can never bring myself to study or pay attention in class. Luckily, since I could hide my grades and pain these things went away, I still got yelled at and was put under enormous pressure. Now, I discovered and artist kid cudi, I listened to him when I was sad, and realized how my problems were taking over my life. I never felt these problems and took a depression test. I realized that every day, even though I didn't feel it wasn't hopeless. It was, I was stuck in a cycle, I have let down my parents a lot and myself. Sometimes I felt the world was better without me. I'm still not sure if I was depressed, but these thoughts made me feel like someone, however. So, I forced myself to think of these thoughts, and I was worried if they made an average person feel all these feelings. At the same time I also knew, the world is better without me and many more things. I feel trapped right now, in a cycle and I can't escape. I will try.
Hi, first of all, I want to tell you that your emotions matter. Sometimes, when we're under a lot of pressure, we tend to look for an escape. All you truly needed was rest and encouragement. You feel like you're lost, but actually, you're on your way to self-discovery—seeing yourself through your own lens instead of the one held by your parents. I understand that, as a family, we never want to disappoint our parents. You’re allowed to feel. Just acknowledge your thoughts. You are needed in this world. Do you know why? Because you're someone who is trying to grow, trying to bring about change, and I can already see it.
"I will try." This line alone shows your strength. Speaking of addictions, if I'm addicted to something, the way I personally try to break it is by bringing in some level of control by reducing the time spent on it. For instance, if I'm addicted to watching something, I'd study for 25 minutes and then watch for 5 minutes. In this way, I slowly lost interest in that activity because I became more interested in my studies and what I was trying to learn. Gradually, you can replace those 5-minute breaks with something you enjoy. I replaced them with reading books, painting, or singing.
It will take time. Don’t be hard on yourself for failing—we all do. Failures only show that we tried, and they help us grow.
“Try again, fail again, fail better.” 🌻🌱🦋
If needed, seek professional help for your mental health issues. I hope everything works out for you!
@Yougotmyback thank you, much love to you
Back to you! <3
