Shame of Abandoning your Dream Art

Hello! I’m new here, but I’ve been dealing with a lot of frustration and disappointment in myself about the art hobby i had that i wanted to develop into my dream job

I do Taxidermy—and as i know it can be a controversial topic i am not asking for the opinions on the art. While i respect others views on it—that’s not the reason im putting it in this forum.

i went to school almost 4 years ago for Taxidermy, and it was one of the few arts that just clicked for me and i did exceptionally well for a newbie. It lifted my ego and made me feel more confident in pursuing it as a career.

i understand that i need to do way more practice work before i even considered a business, but ive practically abandoned it entirely. After coming home being away for school, i took on a 7-3 factory job and next thing i know ive been there for 3 years and have done nothing for my taxidermy. I had spent so much money on the equipment for it—and have it just collect dust.

i feel betrayed by myself, as if I’ve done a huge disservice to my future self for my dream. Unfortunately i just don’t have the extra time (it is a time consuming art) to commit to it, and im robbing myself years of experience and practice I could’ve made already. It’s truly heartbreaking for me. I feel im failing myself and falling into the societal trap of working to death and abandoning your dreams. It’s not what I want for myself…