Work and Mental Health
I'm a female office admin and I've been working 3 years at an only male small company. I've been feeling unmotivated, stuck and unvalued. My boss doesn't ask how I'm doing, how my vacation went and how's my weekend. He only notices my mistakes and not my everyday efforts. Whenever something goes wrong, he doesn't ask what happened and just gets mad at us. I see him happily chatting with our sales reps and my manager all the time and it makes me feel left out. they don't really ask me to join the conversation. I don't feel comfortable talking about myself or my day unless someone asks. It's unfair that I feel like I have to keep trying to prove myself and I feel like I still get the same treatment. I struggle to be on time in the morning because I just don't feel motivated to work anymore. I would have quit by now, but since it's just my manager in the office, I feel bad leaving him now. So I'm waiting till the busy holiday season ends to look for a new job. I've tried everything, and even tried changing my mindset. I even feel lost and I'm starting to question my value and skills. I always try to be understanding, but I just don't feel respected. Is there something wrong with me or it's just my work environment?
@gregariousKitten7301
It might be your work environment ... i was a temp person at a company fro almost 2 years and then left about 1.5 years later they asked me back for another project... some were similar people some had changed but one guy who ignored my existence before was very friendly and chatty ... i asked a long time person who said the corporation had a survey that showed some turn over was from people feeling left out of not connected on a one on one basis.
You comment about being only female there may be the reason also ....
some men are gun shy and afraid in case joking etc would offend or feel on guard regarding even a comment mistaken as harassment. it is safer to not talk to you at all then someone asking how was your weekend or if you have plans for weekend as a come on.
@gregariousKitten7301
It can be difficult being the sole female in a male dominated office. Some men don't know how to communicate with women in a general way, and others are over concerned about boundaries with female colleagues. Others still may be of the thought that women are beneath them. Thankfully that isn't seen as often as it used to be.
When you shared that you don't share much about you unless someone asked, I was wondering if you ever ask your boss or the other men who work in the office how their weekend went or have general chit chat. Perhaps it's not so much of not wanting to talk to you as the concern of if you might be open to it, if you only speak when they speak to you.
Even though it sounds like on one hand you feel like your boss doesn't respect you or like your work much, you respect him enough not to leave your job in the busy season. I'm wondering if you have considered that if he is disrespecting you, that perhaps it's okay to move on when you are able to find a new position where you are appreciated and cared for as an important part of the team?
I can appreciate your work ethic to not leave at a busy season, but I wonder if you have considered that you and your mental health is just as important as their busy season? You deserve to be treated well, to have constructive feedback on projects if your boss isn't happy with your work, and to be treated like part of the team if others are part of the team.
I'm glad you're sharing. I'm sure it's not as simple as I'm making it sound. I just want you to know that you are valuable to - not just his company profits.
@KristenHR thank you. When I first started at my job, I would try to ask how everyone's weekend went, ask about their day and life. The first year, I bought them box of chocolates on Christmas and even bought my manager a birthday cake. But I've noticed throughout time despite my efforts, I see that most of them don't really try to get to know me or they look too busy. I got along with one of my coworkers before, but then he quit after 2 years. Now it's just one of our drivers that I feel comfortable chatting with since he asks about my day. I thought there must be something wrong with me or I'm not trying hard enough. I used to work as a teller at the bank and I was great at customer service, so I feel weird that no one is really interested in getting to know me at my current job. It gives me anxiety everyday and I feel like a failure. At work, everyone eats separately because the drivers are out delivering and I switch with my manager after he takes his lunch.
@gregariousKitten7301
It sounds like you've done what you can do there, but them not wanting to communicate doesn't mean there is something wrong with you.
Sometimes people look at their options for other position - not that they are for sure going to take them, but to see what their options are. Then they have an idea of how things can go if they decide to move on from their current employer. I'd give yourself the freedom to explore what you feel you want and need to do.