I hope that everyone is doing well today

Good afternoon, 

I have been struggling for the past five years to get into a job that is aligned with my skillset.  I had the opportunity to go back to school, pick up a basic degree and a couple of certifications in my field.  I graduated with a high GPA and thought that I could quickly advance into a specific role in my field that fit my character and personality. 

Needless to say, the past five years have not gone the way that I had hoped.

More about me, I am very introverted, a recluse, have a lot of trust issues with people; random people on the street, professionals, those in the medical community, all with valid reasons.  It is these reasons that indicate that I will never be a member of management, CEO, or succeed in business; ultimately in a real job.  There are no illusions or delusions regarding what I am.  I get it.  I love who I am and how I think and function.  

I applied for jobs to go into my field.  I was very tactical, trustworthy, and honest about my resume and work that I wanted to do.  I followed the advice of experts and has thus let me down.  I got into Job 1 where it was not as described.  I was never assigned any work from Day 1 and literally sat in office doing nothing all day every day for over a year.

I moved onto Job 2, had very little to do and what little I had to do, I had automated.  The business had no idea and they indicated through positive verbal communication that they liked my work because I always remembered to get things done and this included things that my lead had admitted, "forgot needed to be done."  Suffice to say, I was doing very little work on a day to day basis.

With these two jobs in mind, I was grateful to be employed and to have income, but the question that I asked myself as I paced through my condo, "aside from a paycheck, what experience is this getting me?  How can I put this on my resume and move forward?"  The answer was, aside from a paycheck, nothing.  As a matter of fact, if I truthfully put my resume out there, it would continue landing me dead end jobs that I mentally and emotionally can no longer do.

I have picked up additional education and certifications.  I have updated my work profiles and resumes accordingly but regardless of what I do, I cannot escape the bad work environments and bad jobs that I am repeatedly shoved into.

I moved into Job 3 in five years in November 2022 and I have been outright lied to from Day 1 by a manager who continuously lies.  I have coworkers who are just absolutely evil and for over a year now, I have absolutely no idea as to what I am supposed to do for work.  

I originally had been applying to jobs that I want for about 6 or so months but now I am beyond desperate just to get out of this line of work as the toll that this kind of work is taking on my mental health has reached very critical levels.

Again, I have been changing my online presence, resumes, appearance, jobs applied to, and nothing.  I do not want to move job to job every couple of years.  I want to be with one company for the remainder of my life.  I just want a normal job but nothing is giving.  I have gone to each job board, company website, contacted recruiters (which I cannot even be civil with anymore) and I am just beyond hopeless and fed up.  Everyone else that I know has moved on in their lives to great high paying careers and here I am, still grateful for pennies.