Feeling drained + Victimization
In my specialization we are two medical residents per year. Unfortunately, my coworker is the absolute worst. I got weird vibes from her at first and then time told. I caught her saying a bunch of lies and making people believe things she is not. But I brushed it off as it was not affecting the work field. Until..we are forced into a master´s degree as part of the specialization and she lied to be telling me we had to partner up. We ended up doing the thesis with other 2 girls..so a group of 4, she didn´t work at all. She would make up lies and excuses not to work, but would post stories about her partying the same moments the rest of us worked. y other 2 teammates wanted to kick her out, including the thesis tutor. We did not, but I went up to my resident tutor (who is also her´s) to get some guidance and help with this. I told my residency tutor about the issue as it was also affecting the ER environment. My coworker would show up 3 hours late to the ER, overloading the rest with work. When she was there she wouldn´t work either. Her answer to my worries about my coworker overloading me and the rest with work was answered with: "sometimes we have to do the work for others". After the 3rd complaint, I told my residency tutor that I was thinking about changing hospitals.And sorry, but I found this unacceptable. Especially coming from the professional..graduate side
My first tutor organized a meeting with my service´s boss and with my coworker and I, but separately. Of course they went first and IDK what they said or blamed me for, but when I had the meeting it was the most hostile, passive-aggresive scenario. My boss, who at the time barely new my name, treated me as if I was being charged for some crime. I was basically accused of discrimination and so on and of having some kind of personal gambetta against her. I find it hilarious, because in every single one of my interviews with the tutor I explicitly said it was only a work matter. I do not have any type of relationship with this girl outside the hospital. All this just for asking for help as I believed it was the tutor´s responsability.
I got a tutor change this past January and this new tutor has me under a magnifying glass. It feels like she sets up obstacles to every solution I find to feel more comfortable.Every time she asks me how I feel, I reply as honestly as I can. I tell her that is difficult to work in an environment like the one provoked, that I am taking baby steps, but that I refuse to stay a minute longer than I should and that I am seeking for options not to be for long at the service. When I reply and she sese my worry face, she just clams up and it feels like talking to a wall. She just adopts this *** look like saying: so? what do you want me to do attitude.
A lot of little nasty details have occured in the middle: they wanted to deliberately alter my rotation schedule without my consent, I was sent to the psychiatrist because they thought I needed meds (the report basically said I was perfectly fine and all this was due to the work context), they lowered my grade because it was too good.My parents are aware, my dad is a lawyer and he says that there are ilegal things in the way they are treating me. My other rotation tutors have advised me to change hospitals cause they do not think its fair or normal how things are going down.
Feeling constantly undervalued, underestimated, annulated and having my feelings invalidated on a constant basis is hard. I have proven and I continue to prove myself professionally. Going to congresses, courses, expositions, having amzing grades, but it seems that any of that counts. It seems that the laziest you are and the less you work, the better. None of my achievements are ever recognized. All my feelings are thrown out the window. The unfairness keeps on going on and the mistreatment thrown under a rug.
I am trying so hard to keep myself sane. I just don´t know know what to do. I feel helpless. I feel somewhat desperate. I cannot believe how things like this are actually taking place in such an institution.
@indigoBranch21
Unfortunately i think the things you have described can happen in many levels of work or professions.
It is wrong and feels like the world should recognize your effort and dedication above someone who plans to ride on co- workers coat tails ...... i have been there and drove myself nuts trying to get someone to see and thought of elaborate plans to prove my point but ..... in the end that was a drain on my energy and strength.... Do not swim in the Toilet of comparison ......
focus on you and do the best you can learn and get as much as you can out of every situation.... transferring to another program is that possible and if so would that put you behind? What would happen if you met yet another lazy hoping to get through on other work type?
I think the strongest move is to accept and work through this difficult situation overcoming a bad situation shows you how strong you are ... maybe this is a life lesson in learning how to deal with jerks and a- holes and overcome the odds not to show them but to SHOW you that you can deal with it.
@toughTiger6481
Thank you so much for your reply and insights. You are totally right. I am trying to focus the situation as a learning opportunity. Cannot deny there are some really black and low days as I see myself being constantly judged my other of the specialists based on this other coworker´s victimization. I take every new day as a new opportunity and to build on my mental strength.
Unfortunately, if I change hospitals or restart that would mean a 26 month time loss in my formation and professional career.
As someone who also works in the medical field (almost 6 years now), I can tell you that there will always be at least that one person who seems very lazy and does minimal work, and still get away with it. I have colleagues of different areas of work in my department, there is one person who is considered as a Lead Hand, but he also tells a lot of lies about his own work. Often disappear for more than a coffee break's time, and never really helps his fellow coworkers with the shared tasks that he's supposed to be doing. As the Lead Hand though, even when his coworkers complain about him to their Coordinator or Manager, nothing is done to fix the problem.
I have a couple of colleagues myself who does the minimal work and doesn't really help with any shared tasks either. Which puts all the workload on me, and in the end, if I somehow missed something, I get the blame for it. But there I am thinking, well, if the other two colleagues helped me with some things, then, I wouldn't end up not having enough time to do the tasks that are needed.
Yes, it is very sad and depressing that I take all the blame for unfinished work, even when I'm the one that's doing all the extra workloads that the others aren't doing. But, I try my very best to think of the good side of things. Like, the reasons why I accepted this position (it was a referral from a colleague), the purpose I have working in my position, the other "nice" colleagues that do appreciate my work..etc
Since changing different hospitals would mean starting from the beginning, then, the only way is to accept that coworker's awful work ethics and do your best at your own work.
@indigoBranch21
@Jaeteuk Thank you so much for your input. I feel very identified with your reply. It is very sad and upsetting how in the medical world these kind of situations happen. We supposedely become medical doctors to help others. I don´t know why, but still surprises me greatly how there are professionals with hardly any work ethics to be able to reach the extent of victimization and manipulation to try and get away with not doing their job.
It´s the inverse world! The hard working one gets the blame and the bad looks and the mistreatment. While the lazy one is the one pampered.
The thing I find most unfair is how they hire someone into a position. Because hospital staff is part of Union, the main criteria they look for to hire someone is the amount of hours that person has worked for. It doesn't matter if they don't have experience in that department, they just look at the accumulated hours that person has worked.
I'm currently in a Casual position, which means, I only work to cover colleagues' vacation days. Which means my income is very unstable, sometimes I only get one week a month, while sometimes I can work for 3 weeks straight. It really depends on how my colleagues chose their vacation times, if it's one person being off after the other, then, my shifts are continuous. But even with 5 other full-time colleagues, their vacation does not add up to the entire year. So, I probably have only 20-30 weeks of work per year. Also, as a Casual, my hours add up very slowly. So, even if I were to apply to an opening for a full-time position, because of my hours, I could never compete with others. I currently only have about 7500 hours, but people applying to a full-time position, are more than 27,000 hours.
I find this system a bit unfair, it's like, they'd hire someone with the most hours, no experience in the department.. rather than hire someone with lesser hours, with experience.. But also because we're under a Union, one can't really be terminated because of their wrongdoings.
So, there will always be that one lazy person who gets away with everything, whether it's because the Manager favors them or it's because they really can't do anything about it. We always like to think people will act professionally, because medical staff saves lives, so we think that as healthcare workers, they will have more compassion towards each other.. but having worked in the Hospital for 6 years now, I realized that is not always true. Especially everyone's personality is different, the work ethic has different standards, the purpose they have for their work, their motivation, their dedication, and the reasons why they chose to work in this field. All of these play a role in how they act as a profession, so there will always be a good and bad worker that ends up as our coworkers.
We just need to do our part, and accept how others are not on the same page as us.
@indigoBranch21
