In Mourning - Breaking up with a Toxic Job

In a healthy workplace, much like a relationship, you may not stay together forever but you part ways on amicable terms while you transition to a new employer relationship that better fits your current needs.

Sometimes though it is a toxic workplace and the signs are very familiar to a toxic relationship.

• After work you feel tired or sick.
• Suffer constant criticism
• Boss is constantly checking-in and micromanaging
• You're often interrupted or given the silent-treatment
• You're always apologizing and you're not sure why
• You're being lied to or shielded from the truth
• Everyone else hates the job, the boss, etc
• Strip away your self esteem
• They guilt you about taking sick days, paid time off, having a life outside of work
• You don't have a positive feeling about the future
• They blame you for their problems
• and more

The thing is maybe when you first started with the company it didn't feel this way. A toxic workplace might love bomb you with appreciation, praise, even bonuses when you're fresh to the company. Your ideas are valued and your fresh insight might even lead to initiatives.

After some time and the freshness has worn off you might see problems. You might even be able to critique or point out issues with the processes in place or areas that need improvement with leadership. You might even feel emboldened to talk about them but then you're emotionally connected with being negative. All of a sudden you go from golden child to target and the reality begins to set in.

At first you might be in denial that you're in a toxic workplace environment. Everyone has bad days, every workplace has its faults.

Eventually you might get angry about how they're treating you. You get your job done, you're just as exceptional as you were when they first hired you so why did they change how they treat you? Why is it what used to be going above and beyond is now the lowest denominator expectation?

You might think of bargaining and negotiating your problems with your employer. You might even try communicating your problems and concerns though this will likely result in blowback. You might even tell yourself that at least it pays the bills.

You might get depressed and sad. Your job-satisfaction is at an all time low. You're barely going through the motions at work anymore. There's no sign of light. You might become jaded or melancholy.

Finally you might find acceptance that this place is toxic. You need to find a new job. It's time to leave this one behind.