10 Common Mind Traps We Fall Into When We’re Feeling Stressed

1. All-or-nothing thinking: You categorize life into the extremes of black and white and blind yourself to the shades of gray, where truth lies. Takeaway: Listen for yourself using words like always, all, everybody, either-or, nobody, never, or none.
2. Mindreading: “She didn’t call me back. Obviously, I made a bad impression.” You convince yourself you know what others are thinking and feeling. Takeaway: Remind yourself that your assumptions are not the truth. You can check out the facts before making conclusions to save yourself a lot of unnecessary worry and stress.
3. Catastrophic forecasting: “I’m gonna fall flat on my face in the interview.” You forecast the worst possible outcome of a situation without evidence. Takeaway: When you catch yourself worrying over something that hasn’t happened, identify your negative prediction. Then ask yourself, “Where’s the evidence for this conclusion?”
4. “Shouldy” thinking and “musterbation”: “I should have gone to church on Sunday.” The words you use can make you feel in charge of your career or at the mercy of it. Oppressive words like should, ought, must, and have to can cause you to feel you’re a slave instead of a master of your emotions. Takeaway: Ask yourself if your self-talk opposes or supports you and if it traps or frees you. Replacing negativity with uplifting words turns burdens into opportunities and empowers you. Now, notice the difference when you change just one word from “have to” to “get to”: “I have to work on that project” becomes “I get to work on that project.”

5. Overgeneralization: “I really screwed up on that sale. I’m such a loser.” You make a sweeping conclusion about your capabilities based on one negative event. Takeaway: When you catch yourself viewing a negative event as a never- ending pattern of defeat, look at the proof. You’ll likely not find evidence for the exaggeration.
6. Filtering and discounting the positives: “I won top broker of the year, but that was a fluke.” You downplay your accomplishments or positive qualities and dwell on the negatives. Takeaway: Pay attention when negatives outweigh positives and give the positives equal weight.
7. Magnification or minimization: “I have to get this job promotion, or my career goes down the tubes.” You blow the negative aspects of a stressful situation out of proportion while shrinking your ability to overcome it. Or, on the flip side, you downplay your ability to surmount a stressful situation, “Oh sure, I got the last promotion, but that was because the boss liked me. I don’t know the new boss.” Takeaway: Try to be aware when your outlook about a stressful situation is at one extreme or the other. Take the point of view of an outside observer and put it in perspective.
8. Blame: “It’s my fault the new employee didn’t work out; I shouldn’t have hired him.” You’re overly responsible and blame yourself for conditions beyond your control. Takeaway: Ask yourself if you’re blaming someone for conditions beyond their control. Then think about how much of the situation you’re truly responsible for.

9. Emotional reasoning: “I feel hopeless about my job, so it must be over.” You make judgments about people and situations from how you feel. And how you feel about something makes it true in your head, even if there’s proof to the contrary. Takeaway: Acknowledge your feelings first. Then see when you can separate them from the facts to determine if your conclusion is indeed true, “Yes, I’m feeling hopeless about my job, but that doesn’t mean it’s hopeless. There are steps we can take to make it better.”
10. Labeling: “I blew it with my boss; I’m such a jerk!” Instead of telling yourself that you made a mistake, you tell yourself you are the mistake. You put a negative label on people and situations because of one incident instead of looking at the entire picture. Takeaway: Save labels for cans and jars and be willing to look at the big picture, “I stumbled in the performance review, but my boss knows and appreciates the quality of my work.”

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Reflection:

What goes on in your mind when you're stressed?

#Stress #Work #Mindset