Schizophrenia

I feel tired and anxious. I feel scared to leave the home, because I feel like someone or something is out to get me. And I know I’m struggling a lot more with, like violent thoughts. I want to trace them to their roots, because now I’m afraid of my father killing me, or something. 

I often push myself. And I’ve found myself, like at this center with someone who also visited the psychiatric care, like me. I’m inspired by her story, and yet I know nothing about her. Something about her pulls always from me before I get a chance to talk to her. Her name is Sierra. I honestly thought I was going to go into the psychiatric care two times, before taking on this job of mine, which I took out my my own free will, but there this a tie there, with my mom. 

So yeah, I feel like, I’m bulldozing my way towards this. All I got was desperation towards the end of the care, and I didn’t end up going all the way through to the home facility, which was basically the reason I was there. 

I’m not compatible to my home, anymore, and I hate to admit that. Because now it’s a means to and end attitude. Thanks.