MY Life in a Million Pieces.

I was 15 when I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder 1 with mixed features and psychotic features. I have had many near death experiences. Rounds of electro convulsive therapy. Tons of different meds. It made me have to drop out of college at 19. It got me fired from a job I liked. And made a lot of people I thought were my friends abandon me. The psychosis part can be scary at times. My life has taken me through the physical, the meta physical, the spiritual and back. But bipolar disorder is not longer going to tell me what to do. I am returning to college after 11 years. I feel I'm set for success due to now having a great psychiatrist and therapist. I just have to throw myself in. I'm going to a LGBT support group and getting back into NAMI. Who knows what all clubs the university will have to offer. We all have a source of energy in us we don't stay fully aware of. I am freaking out about returning to college though. IT's paid for. I guess the biggest stress reliever is over. And with psychosis. I am trying to initiate a great training program for listeners dealing with a member who may be psychotic. I've been psychotic plenty of times and I knew how I wanted to be treated. And I have dealt with it from the opposite side. It would thrill me to death if I could design it. Knowing both sides and having some prominent psychiatrists agree with me. I also dream of hosting workshops for mental health providers. Tell them things their medical school fellowship didn't. Things they can only learn from the patient. Like how we want to be treated. Our needs and anxieties. This illness has come close to destroying my life many times. Now I see it gave me many learning tools and a lot of strength after falling and getting back up. Let's see what the future holds while it stubbornly gets worse.