Emptiness

I made a new friend online and we hit it off and could discuss being bipolar.

It was a safe space.

I leaned on them hard and fell in love.

This is not the first time this has happened to me with caring women.

I pull women close, then push them away when the heart work gets real.

I desperately want a woman’s feelings and words to ease my loneliness and pain of being depressed and advice and love when manic.

I am married and keep all these conversations from my wife. Long story.

I want the attention just for me.

I need it to feel whole and happy.

I feel empty once again.