Struggling with maybe bpd

Today has been a day of purely downs. I can’t get back up it feels. I already know I’m a problem but when someone tells me i am on the daily basis it gets frustrating.

Being called crazy or saying something’s off about me.

I haven’t been diagnosed because I have no insurance or money. And it just feels like I’ll never be better. Idk what to do I just feel like shutting down and crying for the rest of the day.