Whose fault is it?

I was diagnosed with bipolar a year ago this past December. I went through a stage of everything was everyone elses fault it couldnt be mine. So now my husband and I are having issues because he seems to be asking more than I can give right now mentally. We both have been going through a lot of stress and work has been crazy for both of us. The question I keep asking myself is is it really him that is asking too much or is it me not wanting to give much? Is this a its not my fault moment? Everything I do seems to be the wrong thing to do is it because he wants perfection or is it me sabatoging everything?