Looking for Bipolar Friends

Thank you 🙏

@selfconfidentHuman2571 how are you? 

Hey there! I’m in the same boat and in a depressive episode too. Also I know what you mean about wanting to talk to someone who just understands what we go through. Hopefully I didn’t post too late.

@NotNeer Not at all friend! I am glad you posted. I was diagnosed with bipolar 1 at the beginning of this year. It is a fairly new experience for me. No one around me really understands what it's like. Anything you want to chat about?

I was hospitalized and also diagnosed Bipolar 1 about a year and a half ago. I know exactly how you feel. It took me a long time to understand what I was dealing with, and even then I am still figuring it out. It feels so isolating because my friends and family just don’t get it. They seem to think I’m dealing with anxiety or something. It feels good to know someone understands my struggle. How long have you been in this depressive episode? Do you know what triggered it?

@NotNeer I know what you mean about the isolation. My mom, trying to be supportive, told me not to let this get me down, that I have proven I am great. I know she meant well, but it stung. I didn't choose this and wish I could make it stop. I was a professor of history before my hospitalization, and now I get shaky being around a few people or going to the grocery store. But I keep trying. 

I think what triggered my depression was not being able to do my job and remembering a piece at a time what I said/did while in the hospital, as well as how I was treated. I still get upset when memories of then come up.

What about you? What do you think triggered yours? What do you do to try and deal with it? 

Also, how are you doing today? 🙂

I am an anxious mess 🙃, but surviving 

This is so wild to me reading your story because I can relate to it on so many levels. My dad told me something like “all you have to do is think positive”. Since my hospitalization I have trouble with my job. I’m a graphic designer and what once came so natural to me seems impossible some days. I can also relate to the memories. For me the memories of mania are haunting.

What actually triggered this episode was a missed dosage about 3 weeks ago. That’s all it took. So I usually go into psychosis when I have a depressive episode. It’s terrible and confusing. I’ve been doing mindfulness daily. Journaling. I just started therapy.

No one has asked me how I’m doing and it feels good. Thanks for that. I was really struggling this morning. Do you tend to have more depressive episodes than manic? This is a weird one, but do you ever crave Hypomania?

@NotNeer the just be positive drives me crazy. I saw a meme the other day that was relatable. Someone asking a depressed person how they can be unhappy because life is beautiful. The response - how can you have asthma, there's so much air. Lol

I get what you mean about things feeling impossible. I tried to explain to my Dr that it feels like there's a part of my brain I just can't access anymore...

That sucks that a missed dose triggered it. That's one of the things I am really scared about. I am supposed to go back to work from leave in less than 2 weeks and I don't think I will be able to. That means no insurance, which is so scary. There is a mental health clinic by me that provides meds on an income scale, so hopefully I can still have access to meds...

Idk about mania, but the depression does feel unbearable most days. Before my hospitalization, I was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. Psychosis proved them wrong 🤦‍♀️

Yes! That’s the best way to put it. There is a part of me that I can’t seem to access anymore. I still haven’t been able to accept it though.

That must be stressful worrying about insurance and meds. I feel like these are things most of my friends or family don’t have to think about. I recently found out about otc Lithium Orotate in case I don’t have access to insurance.

Gah I feel your pain when you say the depression is unbearable. This is something I can’t explain to others. Are your meds still being adjusted? Have you seen any progress over the last 4 months?

@NotNeer

I didn't know that about otc lithium. I am a bit scared of it though. Read about it causing kidney problems in some people, but that could just be my anxiety fearing the worst.

I am taking lamotrigine as one of my meds. They are still working on increasing that one. It does seem to help. At the beginning of this I couldn't get out of bed at all. That has improved. And I do seem to have some time each day where I feel a bit better.

I know what you mean about accepting it. I am still struggling with that too.

@turquoiseTiger6959

I am veey familiar with both lithium and lamotragine.  My mania was so high it takes to much to describe here.  Lithium kept my mood stable.  Never very happy or sad.  I stopped  that, it was over prescribed.   Lamotragine helps.  Seems to let me geel emotions more which is hard 

@pinkKiwi3057 I am not sure if the lamotrigine really helps or not. I know it is supposed to regulate my mood, but I just can't seem to leave this depressive state. Every day seems hard. I try to be positive and use breathing, etc., but I am so tired :/

@NotNeer Currently 4 months in 😔

@turquoiseTiger6959  

I have been battling this for decades.  Just remember getting through little battles are are the only way to get through the war.  I suffer daily, but honestly, people that understand or are open minded help so much.  It is hard to find them, as we do not want to break out of our shell like others that experience the depression and anxiety.  Please feel free to ask me anything.   I do not have friends that are bipolar anymore,  and it is hard.  Stay strong, and know you are not alone!

@pinkKiwi3057 Thank you for replying. I am finding this difficult to navigate. Have a hard time doing anything, especially if it involves being around other people.  I don't have any specific questions, but anything you would like to share is appreciated. 

@turquoiseTiger6959

This is about the only way I can "be around" people.   Sorry.

@pinkKiwi3057 I have seen lots of posts from bipolar people saying something similar. I hoped it would get better with time but doesn't seem to be. I am trying to look for remote work but the options aren't great.

@turquoiseTiger6959

Yea.  It is difficult when your body cannot do nice hard labor anymore either.  We must find a way to pit our powerful brains to positive use instead of torturing ourselves juat because we may be a tulip in a rosegarden. 

@pinkKiwi3057 I like that phrasing... tulip in a rose garden 🙂

@turquoiseTiger6959

We just have to keep growing so we can  bloom amidst the thorns.   Or bail and make our own garden for the tulips, even the Orchids are welcome!  

@pinkKiwi3057 I like your positivity. That is something I am having a hard time with. I am doing all the recommended coping mechanisms. Sometimes they help, sometimes it feels like not at all

@turquoiseTiger6959

It is easy to type write or say.  The coping skills and everything can HELP, but they are not solutions.  I do not know what do anymore other.  Just a life a maybe a friend that doesn't use me.  Being around peolle helps...but is nkt usually fun.  It makes coming ho.e better I guess.   I dunno im just lony with low self esteem 

@pinkKiwi3057 I get what you are saying. I also have low self-esteem. The ironic part to all this for me is that my intelligence was the one thing I was proud of, and then my brain does this. I'm sorry you are lonely. I am happy to chat with you though :)

@turquoiseTiger6 Thanks.  It means alot that you chat with me.  It's not easy, but having someone that honestly cares and well, you want to help them.   Anything you want to vent is welcome.   One day at a time is all we can do.  Something good will show.  If you keep climbing, you will break through the clouds to some sunshine.    I sure hope so.

@turquoiseTiger6959

Well, things are all up in  the air here also.  I also know of many people that "fit in", you know what I mean...I feel horrible saying someone does not have a mental issue makes them different, perhaps a mind that's easier to navigate in society.  Anyways, they are having issues and transforming from a big career to mowing lawns to remain sane.  It seems there are more people that are realizing mental health is extremely important despite external circumstances.  I need to let my guard down and let things happen .  So what if somebody doesn't like me, at least I tried and learned

@pinkkiwi3057.

Why ? Be around people !

I have bipolar depression type 2, I am being on meds, my parents doesn't know this. I lost my life because of a girl

@Gryffinisanalien

You are you! 

Do not let a label or anyone that will not accept and love you in your life.  It is the hardest thing to let go of the struggle and some people that may trigger your bad thoughts.  For decades I have been in the same place, with no gf, no touch, nothing to gain or lose.  I sure know you will do what you want.  Because you know you deep inside no one can destroy you but yourself.  You posted this, so I know you want to ascend, not depend.

@Gryffinisanalien I am sorry you are going through this. It is hard. You will get through it and come out stronger on the other side. Here for you if you need a friend.

Waves! I just crawled out of a deep depression mixed with bad anxiety. 

Hello everyone!

@SerenityLight Hi! Glad to hear you are out of it. I am hoping I will be soon too :)

@SerenityLight

Hello!  I hope you keep doing better!

@pinkKiwi3057 thanks. One day at a time. I hope you are doing better also 🙂

hey, ive bot been diagnosed with jt but there are suoer hich chances that i have it because my mum has it and my mums sister has it, sometimes i feel like i do but idk if im gaslighting myself because thsts what my parents say im doin g(sorry for bbad spelling im high)

@communicativeCar4844 have you looked at the symptoms of bipolar to see if they match how you feel? Having family with bipolar can increase the chance that you have it, but this doesn't necessarily mean that you have it either.

@turquoiseTiger6959 hi how are you feeling i have MDD understand the lows here if need to talk

@Howegeorgia I would like to talk. I was originally diagnosed as mdd, before my episode. How do you cope when the feelings get overwhelming? I think breathe techniques help the most, but sometimes they don't help me at all.

@turquoiseTiger6959 I haven't found anything that  helps sorry