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It's late at night/early in the morning, and I'm screaming inside because I need support from people who understand

PurpleNina November 29th, 2017

Hi, all! I am new in here, in this subcommunity.

Medication has been destroying me for quite a long time. I have bipolar type II, and I take a lot of meds. Too much, I believe. If only I lived alone, without my mother, I would get off my meds, and focus completely on support and self-care. I have been experiencing hypomanic episodes for 8 years, but every couple, or more of years I had episodes that were around 1-2 weeks long.

It good though, that my mother, when I sent her an article about bipolar disorder and how meds (antipsychotics mostly) can do a lot of damage. I see myself in all those listed symptoms. It is good that my mother agrees with it and we will talk about it tomorrow.
But, it's been a long time since I felt in chains because I was depending on my psychiatrist, and I just felt locked. It's like I'm still in a mental instution...

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ladylazarus1971 December 3rd, 2017

@PurpleNina It's good to meet you. I'm sorry you feel stuck where you are.
Did you get a chance to talk with your Mom, and if so, how did that go?

2 replies
PurpleNina OP December 16th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971

We cut the [edited by forum momd ladylazarus1971 for mention of a specific drug name] in half and agreed that, if I get hypomanic, that we'll go to the psychiatrist immediately.

1 reply
ladylazarus1971 December 16th, 2017

@PurpleNina I'm sorry I edited your post for the medication name-- using specifics like that is against Cups guidelines. I get where you're coming from though. I hope you consulted your psych person before cutting the dose-- if for nothing more than giving them a head's up in case there are any negative side effects. I'm not suggesting you need their permission, by any means.
Good for you for taking a proactive stance in your treatment!

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victoriousParadise88 December 4th, 2017

@PurpleNina

I have bipolar and I truly understand but be very careful getting off meds. If not done under a doctor you can get real sick and end up in the hospital but I am here to talk if you need that

Mochamie December 5th, 2017

@PurpleNina

I have depression and bipolar disorder. I can't even help myself, so, I believe I can't give you a great help.

But I can listen if you need it. I can not help, but at least, I want to lighten your burden. Just write me anything you want to share

ladylazarus1971 December 16th, 2017

@PurpleNina How are you feeling today? We're still here to help if you want us.

2 replies
PurpleNina OP December 16th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971

Thank you! :) I got up a few hours ago, after being in bed for 2 days.

I'm feeling so vulnerable these days.

2 replies
ladylazarus1971 December 16th, 2017

@PurpleNina Is there anything small but important you could do for some much needed self care? I find a little love for yourself goes a long way.

2 replies
PurpleNina OP December 18th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971

I've been trying these couple of days to do it most of the time, but I still have insomnia... I'll try to fix it somehow. I'll try to go to bed and get up at the same time, take meds on time, and sleep 8 hours.

1 reply
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yellow008 December 16th, 2017

@ladylazarus1971 me

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cyanPlatypus6370 December 16th, 2017

@PurpleNina ....

Hi there! I hear you. Then I realized this post was from November ... so now it's nearly 3 wks later. But I get you, it's late and it's technically morning now, and I sure could use support and guidance from some people who actually understand. There are some who are really good at empathizing but you and I know that truly, they don't understand .... which makes me feel sad. (sigh) I hope tonight is feeling better and more supported for you! ~ Platy

1 reply
ladylazarus1971 December 16th, 2017

@cyanPlatypus6370 How are you feeling today, Platy?
If you're interested, I'd love for you to mention some of your concerns and day to day experiences with us in the Daily Check Ins. I think I've seen you in there previously. I'm posting a new one today, but I'm not there yet. Feel free to backtrack a little here if you want:

https://www.7cups.com/forum/BipolarDisordersSupportCommunity_63/DailyCheckInThreads_1279/DailyCheckInThreadDecember152017_104347/
Always nice to see you.

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victoriousParadise88 December 22nd, 2017

Getting off your meds is a very bad idea. Maybe you should get a medication adjustment