I hate it sometimes
The last week has been really hard and only seems to be getting harder by the day. My sleep is beyond erratic.
Lately I feel like I can't even control my reactions to other people (usually the most easy for me to control). Even small slights make me feel enraged.
And then I crash, and I hate myself and I struggle to want to take another breath.
Next up, elation? Balance? Numbness? I never know. I just know I'm exhausted.
I have been through, and still go through those same issues..and if i miss one nights sleep, it definitely compounds all those issues, turns into more missed sleep, and starts an ugly cycle..i HAVE to go to sleep or i am a monster who appears to be on drugs, nope just manic..i dont real care for it, but my dr gave me .05 mg Klonopin ,it helps
@somewherebetween1979 thanks, I'll all my doctor if it might help me, I'm willing to try anything besides lithium at this point
@pandaprincess9 * ask
I've been in a mixed bipolar episode for a bit. MY Spravato treatment last Tuesday intensified it so my psychiatrist told me to take my klonopin more often. Have you ever lost base so bad you thought everyone around you was fake? A scam of some kind. And my family wonders why I hardly leave my room. At least my new TD med came through.
@MindGazer91 glad your new med came through. Yes, that experience of thinking my now husband was fake actually led to my diagnosis. I thought I had accidentally somehow gotten trapped in another universe, and he was lying to me about him being, as I was saying, "My Vincent*" To me, I genuinely thought he wasn't exactly the man I fell in love with, but the version of him from a parallel dimension.
He convinced me to go with him to urgent care that same day. I had just started sertraline, and apparently it can lead someone to those types of thoughts. Doctor took me off that immediately.
* name changed for privacy
I definitely can relate.
