Issues with coming off as less insensitive?

Have you spoken to your parents about this issue at a time when you haven't said something that upsets them? When everyone is in a better mood you might have a productive conversation.

@Lonewolf360

hi I know exactly what this is like

you shouldn't have to feel like you're walking on eggshells

if you're trying your best and your apologies are consistently being rejected then it sounds like they might be creating drama to make you feel bad

here's how I would de-escalate in this situation:

when someone says you've done something wrong, stay calm, apologise for it once and then just let them say whatever they want to say and don't say anything else until they've finished, and then just say "ok" and walk away

if they want to keep talking at you (not to you), then you know that their goal is to create drama and your response should be like a statue until they run out of steam

if they really want you to say something, you just calmly say "ok" and nothing else, always remaining calm

eventually they will get the message that you're not going to let them manipulate you

I have had this same thing happen many times before I got diagnosed and it was always so frustrating and made me so sad afterward. In the workplace, I had to learn to control saying something insensitive accidentally or impulsively, but sometimes I couldn’t, and that ended up having negative consequences,

Since being diagnosed 2 years ago, I have tried to pay attention to when I am likely to say something insensitive, to see if there are patterns. So that I can avoid being in the situation in the first place. I have learned that, for me, the danger is when I start to feel disregulated — too much of ANY emotion, even happiness. I can do something I will regret later, When I feel myself starting to get disregulated, I try to pause and recenter. Sometimes that means walking away, but sometimes I can do it in the moment. It’s helped tremendously. Although I still do it sometimes, others know that I’m trying.

This makes it so I’m not paying attention to others (“walking on eggshells”), and instead I’m paying attention to myself.

One thing that could be helpful if things DO escalate into a tense moment is if you don’t let yourself be pulled into a conversation about what you said. Say you need time to calm down, or find balance, etc. That could make them more angry in the moment, but it’s ok for you to say that you really want to be able to talk to them and you can’t do that while you are upset.

@Lonewolf360 I can’t imagine how challenging it must be to have to pick up on social cues and halt impulses, to keep the relationship with your parents in a balanced state. Dealing with condition is always on a learning curve and your introspection, knowledge I am sure helped a lot to navigate the murky waters. I am encouraged for you that your parents were able to hear you out. You did it. Even though you had to temporarily remove yourself from you parents home, you stepped back in and advocated for yourself and changed the situation. Communication is so key to stability in relationships. I am sure it took real gumption to confront your parents after the disagreement. After it was all said and done I am sure your parents had an appreciations for your honesty. Do you think your goal was accomplished and the likely hood of any future occurrences will not leave you misunderstood by your parents? A healthy family dynamic is essential in overcoming social barriers. Do you agree?