I don’t understand a lot of things
Hi, I’m writing here because I hope some of you might have some helpful suggestions. I struggle a lot to understand what people ado or mean or how they see me in real time. I went out today with 3 other people and I guess I stopped talking and engaging at some point during the outing, because when I came back one of them told me I had been very rude, not talking and not putting any effort to make others feel happy. But I’m not sure of what they mean. I thought I was doing good. I thought people understand I’m a little shy and don’t talk much and don’t make a lot of eye contact but apparently they just thing I’m straight up rude. I almost don’t do social stuff like this because sometimes this happens. And I don’t see it. I get home thinking “oh, that was nice” and then someone tells me I didn’t respond or was rude. I don’t want people to dislike me and they hope I will make a promise to do better next time but I don’t know if I can because I don’t realize these things are happening. I don’t want to end up alone. I don’t know how to do better
@Dulcinea1
Socialising is really hard and exhausting. I struggle with it too. I also can appear to look disengaged or have neutral body language or not participating in conversation, but it doesn't mean I'm not enjoying myself. I make sure the people I'm with know this and know that my body language often does not reflect what I'm feeling.
Obviously there are times when I've shutdown and struggling, but usually someone will quickly check am I OK, I nod, and then they go back to the conversation and let me just observe and join in when I feel able knowing I am enjoying being there.
Communicating needs has helped me, and explaining what being Autistic is like to them. When there is understanding things seem to feel nicer for me. Because then there's less chance of confusion or misunderstanding, as people, unfortunately, tend to assume.
