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i have to go meet relatives i've never met

User Profile: soubums
soubums November 8th, 2022

in like 1-2 weeks, me, my sister and my parents are going to mexico to see relatives. i can barely talk to my family/friends and now i have to be able to speak to TONS of new strangers. on top of that, its a whole different environment and i don't speak spanish very well. i cant pronounce things right and i hardly know grammar. i really don’t want to go see them but at the same time i feel bad because they just want to meet me and i feel sick at the thought of speaking with them. its like over 15-20 new people i have to meet, and i don't think any of them speak english fluently. im trying to learn spanish more but its just heavily associated with having to travel there etc etc and it makes me want to cry. i really don’t want to go i feel like im going to just embarrass myself and make my parents mad or something. they know i feel anxious about it but they just say im being silly, im overreacting, it’ll be fine, etc etc. i want to cry.

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User Profile: Optimisticempath
Optimisticempath November 8th, 2022

@soubums I relate so much for me it's social anxiety and some stuff I avoid with people to talk about but I can understand how scary it feels to think of meeting new people and in new environment , having all the what-if thoughts of messing up or not doing it "right" , it is ok to feel scared, worried, and react as you want , not nice of your parents to tell you how to feel :( when it is evident you're struggling and feeling scared about the meet

is there any thing that can help you feel grounded and at ease if you're unable to avoid the visit and need to go? we can keep a safety kit handy for ourselves, I try to remind myself that it's not as bad as my brain makes it for me and that people are NOT always judging me or waiting for me to make a mistake and then to bash me or anything and then that they've got other better things than to make fun of me or my mistakes

Language is ok it is only means of communication, whatever little ways you can interact would work (lol less language expertise also means less communication isn't that a win win?) , if they make fun or make you feel embarrassed remember it is a reflection of them and not you <3

here for you if you wanna share anything <3

4 replies
User Profile: soubums
soubums OP November 8th, 2022

@Optimisticempath thank you so much, i think might put together a little bag with comfort items an things like that

3 replies
User Profile: Optimisticempath
Optimisticempath November 9th, 2022

@soubums your welcome and that sounds nice

What are some things that bring you comfort? :)

2 replies
User Profile: soubums
soubums OP November 9th, 2022

@Optimisticempath well, theyre kind of weird but this tiny dog plushie that my aunt got me, this one pink blue bell ice cream pencil and probably my first sketchbook. that pencil is so roughed up and tiny, and the eraser is totally gone but it was the first thing i used to draw, and i would only use that pencil. as for the dog plush, idk it just makes me feel safe lol. and i like going through my old sketchbook since it makes me remember how happy it used to make me and how excited i was and proud of my drawings ( even though they werent the best lol)

1 reply
User Profile: Optimisticempath
Optimisticempath November 11th, 2022

@soubums how can something that has the power to comfort you be weird or not too much or too special? <3

all of these sound really amazing and they are more amazing because of the sentimental value they hold for you <3 really happy you've got things that bring you comfort

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User Profile: SaireJameDavid
SaireJameDavid December 1st, 2022

@soubums Hi I have some gifts for you to help in battling anxiety, please see below:


Source: Controlling Social Phobia

https://wol.jw.org/en/wol/d/r1/lp-e/101998523?q=social+anxiety&p=doc

A Song about battling Anxieties

https://www.jw.org/en/library/music-songs/original-songs/each-day-has-its-own-anxieties/?content=video

How to cope Succesfully with Anxiety?

https://www.jw.org/en/library/magazines/watchtower-study-april-2022/How-to-Cope-Successfully-With-Anxiety/

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Also some tips:

What makes you anxious?
Do the following statements describe how you feel at times?

“I’m constantly thinking: ‘What if . . . ?’ ‘What if we get in a car accident?’ ‘What if our plane goes down?’ I’m anxious about things that a more rational person wouldn’t worry so much about.”?—Charles.

“I feel anxious all the time, as though I were a hamster on a wheel running around but never getting anywhere. I’m working myself to death but not really accomplishing anything!”?—Anna.

“When people tell me that I’m fortunate that I’m still in school, I say to myself, ‘They have no idea how stressful school is!’”?—Daniel.

“I’m like a pressure cooker. I’m always worried about the next thing that will happen or the next thing I need to do.”?—Laura.

Fact of life: We live in what the Bible calls “critical times hard to deal with.” (2 Timothy 3:1) Because of that, anxiety can affect young people as much as it affects adults.

Is anxiety always bad?
The answer is no. In fact, the Bible says that it is right for people to be anxious to please the ones they love.?—1 Corinthians 7:?32-34; 2 Corinthians 11:28.

Also, let’s face it?—anxiety can be a powerful motivator. For example, suppose you will be taking a test at school next week. Anxiety might compel you to study this week?—and that might help you get a better grade!

A degree of anxiety can also alert you to danger. “You might feel anxious because you know that you’re taking a wrong course of action and that you need to make changes for your conscience to be at rest,” says a teenager named Serena.?—Compare James 5:14.

Fact of life: Anxiety can work for you?—as long as it moves you to the right kind of action.

But what if anxiety traps you in a maze of negative thinking?

A man helps a teenage boy find his way out of a maze
Anxiety might make you feel as if you were trapped in a maze, but someone with a different perspective can help you find a way out

Example: “My mind races when I think about the different ways a stressful situation could turn out,” says 19-year-old Richard. “I play the situation over and over in my mind to the point that it makes me very anxious.”

The Bible says that “a calm heart gives life to the body.” (Proverbs 14:30) On the other hand, anxiety can bring on a number of unpleasant physical symptoms, including headaches, dizziness, upset stomach, and heart palpitations.

What can you do if anxiety seems to be working against you rather than for you?

What you can do
Question the reasonableness of your anxiety. “Being concerned about your responsibilities is one thing; being overly anxious is another. It reminds me of the saying, Anxiety is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it doesn’t get you anywhere.”?—Katherine.

The Bible says: “Who of you by being anxious can add one cubit to his life span?”?—Matthew 6:27.

What this means: Unless anxiety leads you toward a solution, it will only add to your problem?—or become your problem.

Take things one day at a time. “Think it through. Will what you are anxious about matter tomorrow? in a month? in a year? in five years?”?—Anthony.

The Bible says: “Never be anxious about the next day, for the next day will have its own anxieties. Each day has enough of its own troubles.”?—Matthew 6:34.

What this means: It makes little sense to take on tomorrow’s problems?—some of which may never even become a reality.

Learn to live with what you cannot change. “The best you can do is prepare for situations to the extent possible, but accept the fact that some situations are out of your control.”?—Robert.

The Bible says: “The swift do not always win the race, . . . nor do those with knowledge always have success, because time and unexpected events overtake them all.”?—Ecclesiastes 9:11.

What this means: Sometimes you cannot change your circumstances, but you can change the way you view them.

Put your situation in perspective. “I find that I have to focus on the big picture and not stress over the details. I have to choose my battles and channel my energy into taking care of priorities.”?—Alexis.

The Bible says: “Make sure of the more important things.”?—Philippians 1:?10.

What this means: People who put their anxieties in perspective are less likely to be overwhelmed by them.

Talk to someone. “When I was in the sixth grade, I would come home from school very anxious, dreading the next day. My mother and father would just listen to me as I expressed myself. It was so good to have them there. I could trust them and speak freely to them. It helped me to face the next day.”?—Marilyn.

The Bible says: “Anxiety in a man’s heart weighs it down, but a good word cheers it up.”?—Proverbs 12:25.

What this means: A parent or a friend might be able to give you practical suggestions on how to reduce your anxiety.

Pray. “Praying?—and doing so aloud so I can hear my voice?—helps me. It allows me to vocalize what I am anxious about instead of keeping it in my head. It also helps me to realize that Jehovah is greater than my anxiety.”?—Laura.

The Bible says: “Throw all your anxiety on [God], because he cares for you.”?—1 Peter 5:7.

What this means: Prayer is not a mental trick. It is real communication with Jehovah God, who promises: “Do not be anxious, for I am your God. I will fortify you, yes, I will help you.”?—Isaiah 41:10.

When Anxiety Is Severe
Some young people suffer from chronic anxiety. For example, a teenager named Jenna says: “As a result of anxiety, I had a constant headache, I couldn’t focus, I would sleep for days or not sleep for days, I wouldn’t eat, or I would eat too much?—I was wired all the time. Very small problems seemed like mountains.”

When anxiety is prolonged or excessive, it might be good for you to get a medical checkup. That’s what Jenna did. “After receiving treatment, I can handle things better and I have control over my anxiety,” she says.

WHAT YOUR PEERS SAY
Carissa
“When I face anxiety, I pour out my heart to Jehovah in prayer. I can sleep well at night, knowing that the problem is in Jehovah’s hands?—and that’s the best place for me to place my life and my anxiety.”?—Carissa.

Samantha
“I always think to myself, ‘Why worry about things I can’t do anything about at the moment, or ever?’ I think about Jesus’ words at Matthew 6:27. This helps me to rely on Jehovah and listen to his advice.”?—Samantha.
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