getting bullied in video games :/
i just had another really bad experience in a multiplayer game and i am still trying to calm down. i hate it. people only target me because my voice is so high. and my voice is something i'm super dysphoric about, but obviously the gaming community is toxic and someone who's already harassing me isn't going to care about my pronouns.
i just want to enjoy my hobbies without being harassed. i'm sure anyone who is perceived as female and plays video games knows what i mean. i get bullied out of games constantly and gaming is where i go to relax, so when i'm bullied out of a game nothing seems fun anymore.
i hate being seen as a girl and i hate being bullied when i'm trying to do something that calms me down. i'm so tired of being banned from games simply for talking back to someone who was rude to me, and seeing they didn't get banned. i just don't get how some people can be so genuinely rude.
and people always tell me it's not that deep, but they don't understand, it's usually guys saying that. it's not just teasing. it scares me. how do these people treat women in real life? i just have so many questions.
thanks for reading. 
Don't take those rude players seriously. Public servers are hotspots for huge jerks. Online gameplay is usually anonymous and jerks can physically attack people as much as they want without any repercussions.
I would avoid using a mic on public servers and use chat instead until you can gauge what the other players are like. It may hinder your ability to socialize, but you may find some cool people that you can talk to when you weed through all the jerks. I personally don't talk either because I have been harassed before. I think a real human voice acts like a beacon for bullies.
If the other players are still antagonizing you, drop out of the session and join another. They claim you sound like a girl to taunt you, and they probably don't treat women any way in real life because they don't know any!
You could also arrange a group you can play with by joining or creating a gaming-oriented friend group on whatever social media you like. Then you can keep out the riffraff by playing on a private server.
Voice pitch really doesn't have anything to do with manliness. My male cousin is 25 and over 6 feet tall, but sounds like a rusty door hinge. People who hear his voice think he's a little kid, when actually he could stomp them into pancakes.
@FrostFeather thank you so much for taking the time to reply. i know i shouldn't take it personally it just sucks cause a lot of the stuff they say reminds me of the things i tell myself i guess. i will definitely drop out of the sessions in the future. take care 
Glad I could help! I know you may not be able to help it, but try not to feel self-concious about your voice. Remember: it's not that you sound like a girl, it's that they've figured out that your weak point is being called a girl, so they will zero in on that like rabid aimbots. You noticed it yourself: they're bullies, and teasing other boys by calling them girls is one of the most stereotypical bully taunts there is.
Have fun out there and stay awesome!
I agree with everything the other member said. I've had my fair share of harassers as well. But if I know anything, it's that I have control. I might not be able to control what others do, but I can control how I react to it. You control what affects you and what doesn't. You control what you allow yourself to deal with and what you choose to step away from. 🌸 These people seek attention. They seek a reaction. That's why they're doing it. BUT they have no power. The only power they have to hurt you and to bring you down is the one you're giving to them. So I'll tell you what I have learned and done. And what I continue to do. I pretend they don't exist. I don't give them the reaction they're looking for. I mute them as soon as I know they're going to be a problem, and I don't even waste energy on them anymore. Your energy is better spent elsewhere. And, if I'm lucky enough to be in a team with like-minded people, then it's even better - because then we ALL ignore him. And I'll tell you this: after a while, they all get bored and move on. People don't like to be ignored. People don't like to be cast aside. We're social creatures, so one of the worst things you can do to a person is to isolate them. Dehumanize them. Pretend they don't exist. Pretend they're not worthy of human recognition. They don't like that. And THAT'S how you take their power away from them. That's how you return it to yourself. And it's easier said than done, I know. It's hard to do this when they're screaming insults at you. So if you find yourself still getting worked up over it, I suggest you do what the other member suggested. Leave the game yourself, or use the chat instead of your mic until you find better people. 😊 Give yourself control over the situation. And be kind to yourself, for there is nothing wrong with your voice. Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you. 🌷