What helps with your social anxiety?
What do you to to get over or be a little bit better at handling this? I'm not sure if a thread like this has been done or not.
Challenging myself once a day, whether it be smiling at a stranger, making small talk at the cash register, anything really. Last year when my SA was really bad, my counselor would have me purposely place myself in awkward situations. I would call a store on the phone and stutter, mess up, forget what I was calling about, etc. I also would call restaurants claiming that I had an issue with one of their food items and would go on to complain about it...the issues I claimed to have were small and insignificant, normally I would be absolutely mortified to bring one of them up. But the placesall were very nice and told me I could come in andtell them my name, and they'd give me a free whatever I complained about. Doing little things like this and setting myself up for awkwardness/embarrassmenthelped me feel like I had more control over the situation and made me realize how much people don't care if you're awkward and are generally nice and tolerant...Of course I still feel the effects of SA on a daily basis, but these little "exposures" helped remind me to not worry so much about awkward/embarrassing encounters.
It may sound childish but I have a peace of chain from a fan and I always keep it in my pocket and I just hold it/fiddle wirh it and that somewhat helps it in most situations I also just mess with change in my pocket or anything that feels normal like it always dose if that makes any sense
I battle my anxiety by just going out and exposing myself to different social situations. This may not sound helpful, but practice does really help you become comfortable with talking to people. Like politepineapple,I'd suggest challenging yourself each day. You don't have to start off by talking to a large group of people if that's not what you're comfortable with yet. You can contribute your opinion toa class/meeting/gathering at least once, or ask someone who you've been wanting to hang out with (but haven't gotten the courage to talk to) to grab lunch. Remember to give yourself positive praise at the end, because you got this! :)
By Knowing that I create my anxiety i have the power to overcome it, I have a choice in this matter by focusing in the present moment and not to worry about the future and accepting the past, contining to take small steps to get past my confort zone and become a new person
I've suffered anxiety since I was 17. Now 34. You can buy worry stones to keep in your pocket which helps as a good distraction for me. I have a big rose quartz heart crystal. My problems are worse if I'm in a crowded room and not near the door. I then convince myself I need the toilet and it gets very uncomfortable. It's all in my mind though. I usually book specific seats for cinema on the end of a row. And stay by the door at school performances I attend. Also training with work is a big trigger unless I catch the trainer at the beginning and just say confidently I might need to leave I suffer anxiety. Because at the end of the day it's nothing to be ashamed of. That usually eases my tension. I've had to leave shops because part way round I've made myself feel dizzy and breathless. It controls me to a point but I do what I can to ease it
After really coming to the conclusion that I had social anxiety and deciding that I couldn't live my life in fear anymore, I decided that in order to get over my fear, I really had to put myself out there. I really tried to get more involved with school and tried REALLY REALLY hard to talk to more people. It was definitely a struggle and I still have my moments, but I realized living in fear of other people wasn't how I wanted to spend my life. I did little things like just saying hi to more people or smiling at more people in the hallways. I started getting out more like trying to go to the mall and just get myself out of the house. I know it's kind of silly, little things. But, it really made a big difference.
Something an old therapist had me do when I was in a particularly anxious situation was to make three columns. The first column was to write out the situation that happened objectively. The second was to write down what I felt had happened. The third was to write down possible alternate solutions. So for example it might be like:
Column 1: Friend did not call me when they said they would.
Column 2: Friend hates me and doesn't actually want me around.
Column 3: Friend fell asleep. Friend mixed up their days. Friend was having a bad or anxious day themselves and didn't feel capable. Friend's phone died.
It doesn't always help, but it does help show how many other possible things could be true in a given situation, and that your worst assumption isn't the only possibility.
Trying to be mindful and present and accept how I'm feeling really helps. If I'm feeling particularly anxious I'll try to become more aware of myself and how I'm feeling and then observe my surroundings. Some things I do to ground myself more in the moment is by noticing my feet, legs, so on and then taking some deep breaths and focusing on that. I noticed before doing this I was tempted to avoid feeling anxious by trying to do something to feel better, which is okay, but also just being accepting of yourself in the moment with your anxiety and all can really do wonders! :) This attitude of acceptance along with gratitude and being more loving to myself and others has helped me tremendously :) Highly recommend trying to adopt these values!
Knowing that everyone has their own worries. More often than not they're too busy with their own worries to notice the little "mistakes" you made.
Very true! And it's funny how with social anxiety one seems to want to avoid having attention on them but SA thinking is actually very self-centered. With SA many situations are rounded back to the anxious person. Like if someone says something negative an SA mindset might find a way to make it about themself.
